Page 69 of Instant Bond

“What am I lying about?” I asked, only because I had no defense to the statement.

“I don’t know, but you’ve been acting weird since last night. And I know you were bullshitting me this morning, trying to get me to stay home. Which I let you do, because I was curious what you were up to. But I see now that I should have followed you.”

I shook my head, the idea of him catching me in person taking a pregnancy test too horrible for me to even imagine. “It’s not whatever you’re thinking.”

“I’m not thinking anything,” he said. His voice was so calm and so even. It was almost worse than if he’d been yelling. “I just need to understand what’s going on.”

He wasn’t giving me an out. He was demanding that I tell him the truth right now, which I totally hadn’t prepared for. But I didn’t have a choice. I knew I couldn’t make anything up because then he’d know and it would only make everything worse. But I couldn’t help but feel that I was signing my death warrant.

Everything I’d been loving about my life lately was going to come crashing down around me. And then where would I be? Where would Ty be? He was so happy and so secure, and if Karter wanted to break up because of this, then I’d be snatching that away from him. I was a terrible parent, always screwing up. I couldn’t do anything right.

At that moment the gravity of everything sank in, drowning me in fear and misery. I was pregnant, again. I had no idea what was going to happen or how I was going to provide for it. And this time I didn’t even have the excuse of being a dumb teenager.

Tears welled in my eyes, and my chest started to pound. My breath started to clog in my throat, and I couldn’t pull enough air in to fill my lungs. My hands started to shake, and a dizziness so intense I nearly crumbled crashed over me.

Karter was up off the couch like he’d been fired from a cannon, rushing over to me. “Is it that serious?” He asked incredulously, his eyes raking me all over as if to find the source of my sudden behavior.

“I… I’m pretty sure I’m having a panic attack,” I informed him, between rapid panting. I was freezing all over, then burning hot, then freezing again.

His eyebrows raised, and I could see a sliver of the panic coursing through me appear in his eyes. “I don’t really know what to do,” he said, but he nudged me to the couch so I couldcollapse onto it. I curled into myself, raising my knees to my chest. “Should I bring you something?” He asked, his worry for me evident in his voice. Would he be worried if he knew what I’d done?

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes closed. “I just… I’m really sorry. You’re going to hate me.”

“Hey.” He sank down next to me, wrapping his arm around my shoulders to pull me to him. “I could never hate you. You know that.”

“I really, really screwed up.” I pulled away, out of his arms only because I knew I wouldn’t live through it if he ended up pulling away from me once I told him what was going on.

“Did you…” He hesitated, and I knew he was thinking the absolute worst. “Did you do something behind my back?”

I shook my head, sniffling. I almost wanted to laugh. Probably just hysteria. “No, you were definitely there.”

“Whatever happened, it’s okay,” he said. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Okay.” We were quiet for a while. I wasn’t sure how much time passed, but I got to a point where I could breathe and talk. I couldn’t delay it any longer, and even if I could, I didn’t want to. “But I need to explain myself first.”

Taking in a deep breath, I prepared for everything to change.

KARTER

I WASN’T USEDto having things kept from me. I was supposed to be on top of everything, and be in control. It was a unique kind of torture watching the person who’d become the most important to me, crying and quivering on my couch in fear of what my reaction would be to whatever his horrible secret was. And he’d pulled away from me when I’d tried to hold him. That was a bad sign.

“Okay, so,” he started, his voice still weak and watery. He’d stopped hyperventilating, but he was still crying. “I’m really, really sorry and it was completely an accident. I really, really didn’t mean to, you have to believe me. It’s just that I was in the middle of taking my pill and then your mom came in and I didn’t want her to see and I thought I’d remember to take it later but I’m so stupid so I didn’t remember and it’s all my fault. I don’t blame you for being mad at me, but you have to understand it was totally an accident. I wouldn’t do that to you. And I know I probably ruined everything, but I just can’t give it up, like I just personally couldn’t do that, but I know that it’s my fault so I can’t expect you to help me but I’m just really scared and I’m really sorry, and-”

“Wait, wait.” I raised my palms, trying to give him a visual indicator to stop talking. The gears in my brain were halted as I tried to piece together his jumble of nonsensical words. “I don’t understand anything you’re saying. Givewhatup? And what does my mom have to do with any of this?”

He huffed out a long breath before peeling his coat off, digging into the pocket to fish out a little stick and shoving it into my hands.

Staring down at it, my brain once again struggled to recognize what was in front of me. It was an object I was vaguely familiar with, from television ads and movies, anyway. As recognition dawned, my skin felt numb but my blood was buzzing in my veins.

Cameron’s confusing tornado of words suddenly began to make sense with the new context. He’d missed a birth control pill, and now he was pregnant. That was really the only information that was pertinent. The rest of the words were just mental ramblings about horrific scenarios he’d imagined.

He’d missed a birth control pill, and now he was pregnant. By me. He was pregnant and I was the father. We were going to have a baby together.

Despite my overwhelming confusion and the harrowing sensation of my brain trying to cope with the new information that happened to be the most important information I’d ever learned in my life, my alphas instincts kicked in to remind me that I should say something to ease his suffering.

“It’s okay. Don’t be upset.” Not the most eloquent or comforting words available in the English language, but truthfully I’d barely managed that. My mind was racing, screaming in my head. Cameron was pregnant with my baby.

“Don’t be upset?” He repeated, raising his head from his knees to stare at me. His eyes were wet, the hazel irises shining in the low light from the lamp, and tear trails streaked his pretty cheeks. “Don’t you get what I’m trying to tell you?”

---