Page 87 of Someone to Watch Over Me

He slides his chair so it’s next to mine, puts his arms around me and holds me close. “What’s wrong, Lex? I was only kidding. I love your parents. You know that.”

As I breathe in the scent of him, the scent that’s become home to me at some point over this last year, I wave a hand in front of my face, embarrassed and overwhelmed at the same time. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. What’s going on?”

“The dumbest thing.”

“No, it isn’t. Not if it upset you. Was it what I said about your parents? I really do like them.”

“I know you do, and they like you, too.”

He kisses the tears off my face. “Then what, hon?”

“It’s just that this, with you, reminded me of how Jim and I were together, and it made me miss him and appreciate you all at the same time.”

“Aw, honey, I’m so sorry you ache for him the way you do. I wish there was some way I could take away the pain.”

“You’ve made it much more bearable than it was before you came into my life. That’s for sure.”

“I’m glad to hear that, but I still wish it could be more.”

“It’s everything I need, Tom.Youare everything I need. It’s just that the two things coexist in this crazy mishmash of sad and happy and grief and joy. Sometimes the emotional overload gets to be too much. That’s when the tears show up.”

“The tears are part of who you are, and it’s such a testament to who you are that you still weep for him after all these years.”

“I’ll always weep for him and how he was cheated of the long life he deserved. No one should have to endure what he did.”

“No, they shouldn’t.”

I wipe away the remaining tears, thankful for his unwavering support and love. Being with a widow is never easy, but he always gets it just right by understanding that my love for Jim is eternal. “Speaking of ALS, the local chapter of the ALS Association offered me a job.”

“When?”

“There was an email from them waiting for me this morning.”

“Wow. That’s some amazing timing, huh?”

“I thought the same thing.”

“What’s the job?”

“Volunteer coordinator for the Northern Virginia chapter.”

“Lexi… That’s amazing. You’d be great at that.”

“You think so?”

“Definitely. Who better to help others than someone who’s been through it herself? Although… it might be hard for you, right?”

“That’s my biggest hesitation. ALS all day every day. I’m not sure I could handle that.”

“Yeah, I can see how it might be too much. How did you leave it with them?”

“I asked for some time to think about it.”

“Good idea. Either way, it’s nice to have an offer.”

“It does take the sting out of being laid off. I applied to a bunch of other stuff. I’ll see what happens.”

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