Page 85 of Someone to Watch Over Me

“He’s the best, and he’s been so great about being a good friend to me even as he was hoping it would someday be more. There was never any pressure.”

“Does he know about the world-class crush from high school?”

“He does, and guess what? He had one on me, too! He wanted to ask me to his senior prom, but his mother wouldn’t let him because I was too young. So he didn’t go at all.”

“Oh my goodness. How sweet is that?”

“High school Lexi would’ve passed out if he’d asked her to prom.”

Mom’s laughter is such a delight to me. We went years without much laughter in our lives.

“How’s the job search going?”

“Oddly enough, I’ve been offered the chance to apply for something with the ALS Association. Their volunteer coordinator position is opening up.”

“Wow. How do you feel about that?”

“I’m stunned to have the universe show up for me this way, and I can’t help but wonder if Jim is making things happen for me.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him, but, Lex… ALS… I mean, how do you feel about that?”

“Extremely conflicted and not at all sure if that would be a good idea for me. On the one hand, I have a lot of experience that would be beneficial to others. On the other…”

“It’s ALS.”

“Right. I don’t know what to think.”

“You’d be great at it, but whether it would be great for you is the question.”

“Exactly.”

“Sit with it for a minute. See how you feel about it in a day or two.”

“That’s what I’ll do. I’ll reply to Nora, thank her for thinking of me and ask for some time to consider it.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

“What can I bring tonight?”

“Just yourselves. We’ve got it covered.”

“Thanks for the invite.”

“Looking forward to it. See you soon. Love you, honey, and in case I forget to say it every day for the rest of my life, I’m so, so proud of you.”

“Aw, thanks. That means a lot. Love you, too.”

After the call with my mom, I push all thoughts of widow-makers aside for now, update my résumé and log on to some of the bigger job searching sites where I still have accounts to see what else is out there. The offer from the ALS Association looms large in the back of my mind, but before I decide about that, I need to check my options. I apply to a few admin jobs, but only because there’s no mention of data entry or Excel spreadsheets in the descriptions. There’s an event assistant position that sounds interesting, so I apply for that, too, even though I’m not qualified.

Hopefully, my experience as a third-grade teacher is proof that I can handle just about anything a job throws my way.

Out of curiosity, I go to several of the websites for local school departments and note almost all of them are desperately seeking substitute teachers at all three levels. It’s good to know that’s a possibility. I wouldn’t mind going back to teaching, but it’s not my first choice anymore. I no longer have the emotional bandwidth to manage twenty children with twenty different sets of needs and learning styles. The door to that career closed when Jim was sick, and I’m not sure I could find the wherewithal to push it back open.

But if all else fails, it’s good to know they’re hiring. When I was searching for my last job, I never even looked on the school sites, knowing I wouldn’t have been able to handle the demands of being back in the classroom. I’m three years out from Jim’s death and stronger than I was then, for sure. However, I’m a completely different person than who I was the last time I was in a classroom. I’d much prefer to start fresh in a new field than to revisit the past.

Besides, how would I ever again welcome a new class without Jim with me to memorize all the students’ names and quirks? That’d be more heartbreak when I’ve already had plenty.

I apply to more than a dozen jobs in total. If what’s past is prologue, I’ll be lucky to hear from one of them.

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