Page 59 of Someone to Watch Over Me

“Close the door.”

After I close the door and take a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk, she lets out a deep sigh.

“I’m sorry to have to tell you that we’re facing budget cuts due to missing our targets for the last two quarters, so we’re laying you off. Your medical insurance will be covered for three more months, and you’ll receive a month’s salary as severance. You’ll also be paid for all your remaining vacation and personal days.” She hands me two pieces of paper. “One of those pages outlines all your remaining benefits and compensation. The other is a reference I wrote for you. Please feel free to have any prospective employers call me. I’ll be happy to recommend you.”

I’m in shock. I’ve barely heard anything she said after “laying you off.” I hate the job, but I need it. Badly.

“Lexi… Are you all right? I feel terrible about this.”

When she called to offer me the job, I told her that I was a widow and there might be times when I seemed off. I wanted her to know why.

“I hate to do this to you on top of everything else…”

“It’s okay.” I want out of there before I lose my composure, so I tell her what she needs to hear. “I’ll be fine.”

If there’s a silver lining, I’ll never again have to spend eight hours putting numbers into spreadsheets that mean nothing to me.

A soft knock on the door sounds.

“Come in.”

One of the guys is standing there with a box in his hands. I can’t remember his name. We met on the first day, and I hadn’t seen him since.

“Justin has packed up your desk and will walk you out.”

I’ve heard of this kind of thing happening to other people, but until it happens to me, I don’t understand how demoralizing it is that they don’t trust me to pack up my own desk or to not be destructive on the way out.

I’d have to care to do something like that. I get up, take my box from Justin and brush past him on my way to the exit. I don’t need him to show me the way since my favorite part of every day I’ve spent there is when I leave.

It’s just as well, I tell myself as I walk out the main doors and head for my car. I hated every minute of that job, but it served the purpose of helping me make enough to pay down some of the debt.

At least they gave me severance and health coverage for a while, which is a relief.

For a long time after I stash the box in the passenger seat and get into the driver’s side, I sit there and stare straight ahead, absorbing the latest blow.

What now?

It took months of applying for every job I could find to get this one, and as much as I hated it, I didn’t want to lose it. Before Jim got sick, I was a third-grade teacher. By the time he died, the thought of supervising twenty eight-year-olds all day had lost its luster. Truth be told, it’d lost its luster long before Jim’s diagnosis.

My phone buzzes with a text from Brielle.Single ladies… Are we still on for dinner tonight? And, Lex, how is Tom doing?

Brielle, Naomi, Hallie, Joy and I get together on our own sometimes, separate from the other Wild Widows who are in new relationships. We jokingly call ourselves the holdouts. I’ve been the biggest holdout with almost three years since Jim died without so much as a date.

Although, they argue I’ve been on a months-long date with Tom since I moved in with him, complete with romantic candlelit dinners most nights. I denied that emphatically, but now I’m not so sure. They may be right.

Almost losing him has shaken me out of my years-long stupor to be reminded once again that life is short, and we must live every day to the fullest. Being with him makes me feel good, and that’s the best possible reason to make myself ready for him after feeling like total shit for so long. He’s like a breath of much-needed fresh air in my life.

Tom is doing well,I respond.Can I let you know later if I can make it? I want to make sure he doesn’t need anything.

Fine by me,Brielle says.Usual place and time. Hope to see you!

We go to the same Mexican restaurant every time—and every time, we talk about how we need to broaden our horizons, but then we end up back there the next time. Joy says there’s no reason to tempt fate when we’re happy where we are.

That reasoning applies to more than just the restaurant.

Why tempt fate, indeed. Like we don’t have enough heartache without inviting in more.

Although now that I’ve lost my job, I have much bigger concerns than whether I have the guts to fall in love again. The massive debt isn’t going anywhere, and being out of work for any length of time simply isn’t an option.

---