Page 51 of Someone to Watch Over Me

“Back to your original question, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that Jim arranged for us to meet up. He was adamant about me doing whatever it took to be happy and to have a meaningful life. That was all he cared about the whole time he was ill. Even after he couldn’t talk anymore, he would look at me, and I would know what he was thinking because it was so important to him.”

“That’s a precious gift to give the person you’re leaving behind, the peace of mind to know you’d approve of them having a new life with someone else.”

“It is. Some of my widow friends don’t have their late spouse’s implicit blessing because they died suddenly without ever having had those conversations. They can only presume that their late person would’ve wanted all good things for them.”

“I’d always want that for you, just so you know.”

“Stop. I refuse to have a contingency plan for you not being around.”

“It just seems practical to mention it.”

“It’s not practical. It’s morbid. You’re fine, you promised me you’re going to be fine, and that’s all we’re going to say about it.”

She makes me smile even when I’m being morbid. “Is that your final word on the matter?”

“It is, so don’t go there again.”

I’m in love with her.

That thought strikes like lightning from above, electrifying me with the realization that, for the first time in my life, I’m truly in love.

As I watch Lexi walk into the kitchen to refill my ice water, I now know that no one else would’ve done it for me the way she does. Lying on a sofa with her and watching a movie is more exciting than anything I’ve ever done with another woman.

If Lexi walked away from me, I’d never forget her.

I’ll do everything I can to make sure that never happens.

Lexi

Today has been like a dream.An entire day to laze around with Tom, watching movies, eating healthy food and experiencing the ever-present hum of desire for the first time in years. I’d forgotten what that was like, to know something is going to happen with a man and that it’s only a matter of when.

His words from earlier have stayed with me all day:I’m so glad I didn’t die before I got the chance to kiss Lexi Nelson.

Swoon—and hello, don’t talk about dying! I can’t bear to think of what a close call he had. It makes my hands shake and my knees go weak.

If he hadn’t recently had a heart attack, I would’ve wanted to take those kisses to their logical conclusion, which is a startling thought for a widow to have for the first time since her husband died.

I haven’t had sex in more than five years and haven’t wanted it even once in all that time. Until Tom Hammett kissed me and reawakened me to things from another lifetime. Once upon a time, Jim and I had sex almost every day. We had incredible chemistry, and sex was a big part of our relationship, along with many other things that made our life together so fulfilling. He loved to go antiquing as much as I did, which I used to tease him about as I dragged him along on another weekend adventure to some random place to look at old dusty shit, as he liked to call it.

We enjoyed finding a treasure and bringing it back to life. Most of that stuff is long gone after we were forced to sell our home and most of our possessions to pay for his care.

I haven’t thought about our antiquing adventures in ages. It makes me sad that my first thoughts of him are always the sick version and not the vital, active, funny man he was before disaster struck.

“What’re you thinking about?” Tom asks.

While I was on a trip down memory lane, the movie ended. He switches the TV over to local news because he wants a sports update. As his roommate of nearly a year, I’ve learned he’s obsessed with all the DC-area teams, and that’s the only reason he ever watches the news.

“A lot of things,” I say in response to his question.

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“Today was a really nice day.”

“Yes, it was. Thank you for letting me watch hours of football. You took one for the team.”

“I enjoyed it. I haven’t watched it in years. I don’t want to say I missed it or anything…”

“Haha, lest you have to watch it all the time?”

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