Page 35 of Someone to Watch Over Me

“I think she was surprised I hadn’t told her about Jim’s illness before now, but your business isn’t mine to share.”

“I wouldn’t have minded if you told her or anyone else in your life who should know.”

“Good to know.” He gives me a look that has my skin pebbling with goose bumps. “I missed you when I was in the hospital.”

“You saw me every day.”

“Never enough.”

Post-near-death Tom is much more forthcoming about how he feels. “Why do you look so spooked?” he asks.

“I’m trying not to equate all this,” I say, using my hand to encompass the chair, the meds, the goddamned socks, “with the past, but it’s hard.”

“I hate that I’ve resurrected painful memories for you. I’d never want to be responsible for that happening. I hope you know that.”

“I do. Of course I do.” I take a seat on one of the upholstered chairs. “Can I get you anything?”

“Nah, I’m good. And I’m able to get whatever I need.”

“I don’t mind doing it for you.”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”

“I know you are, but I’m offering to help you the same way you’ve helped me when I needed it. That’s what friends do for each other.”

“Friends don’t ask friends who’ve been traumatized in the past to reopen a wound for them.”

“I’m okay. I promise. Have there been some things that bring back upsetting memories? Yes, but I’m coping with that. I want to help you if you’ll let me.”

“This whole thing just pisses me off. It seemed like you were doing so much better lately, and then this had to happen to screw up everything.”

It amazes me that he has had those thoughts about me and my grief journey. But of course he has. That’s who he is. He pays attention. “I’ve been doing better, which means I’m much stronger than I was and able to face things that would’ve been impossible only a few months ago. I have you to thank for a lot of the healing I’ve been able to do since I moved in here.”

“How so?”

“For one thing, getting me out of my parents’ basement where we spent the last few years of Jim’s life was huge. Nothing good happened there, you know? We moved in there when it became impossible for me to care for him on my own anymore. I needed their help. Everywhere I looked in that space was a memory of something horrible. You’ll never know how much of a lifeline you extended to me with the offer of a place to live.”

“That was a somewhat selfish offer, you know.”

That shocks me. “What? No, it wasn’t.”

“Yes, it was. I’m ashamed to admit that I was—and am—quite smitten with you, and the thought of seeing you every day was a huge incentive.”

I have no idea what to say to that.

“Something about almost dying has filled me with truth serum or something. I hope that doesn’t offend you.”

“Not at all.” He’s never been anything other than a total gentleman with me. “You’ve been such an amazing friend when I really needed one.”

He gives me a playfully stricken look. “Am I stuck forever in the friend zone, then?”

“No, not at all.” I stifle my embarrassment to speak my truth. “Do you have any idea what level of crush I had on you back in the day?”

His eyes go wide with shock. “What? For real?”

“God yes. It was pathetic. You didn’t even know I was alive.”

“That is absolutely not true! I most definitely knew you were alive.”

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