Page 8 of Someone to Watch Over Me

But then I think about everything Tom has done for me since I moved into his home nine months ago. I think about all the dinners he’s made for me, the way he prepares my coffee each morning exactly the way I like it as he hands me a healthy lunch to take to work.

He’s one of the best people I’ve ever known, and I already know that no matter what he needs, I’ll never abandon him. But, God, this whole thing cuts me deeply in a place where I’m still far more tender than I would’ve thought all these years later.

While Iris and Gage see Justine out to her car, I bend at the waist in Iris’s kitchen from the body blow that overtakes me at the thought of my kind, decent friend needing me when I don’t have a single drop of gas in my tank to give him.

That’s where Iris finds me when she comes back inside.

She puts her arm around me and guides me to the sofa.

We sit together, her arms around me as I sob. “I hate this. I hate that I’m m-making it about me when it’s about him.”

“Of course it’s about you, too. It had to be so traumatic to find him in distress.”

“It was awful.” The image of him on the floor haunts me. “He… he was fine this morning. His usual self. He made me lunch, like he does every day.”

“That’s so sweet.”

“He’s the sweetest. Always taking care of me, and all I can think about is what if I need to take care of him and I can’t do that? What kind of monster does it make me to recoil from the idea of it?”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Lex. This entire episode has sparked all the latent trauma of Jim’s illness. It’s only natural to run from anything that reminds you of that difficult time.”

“One whiff of that hospital, and it was all there, which is strange because I’ve been in hospitals since Jim died. I was in one earlier to see the baby, and as hard as it was, it didn’t send me over the edge like this did.”

“Tom’s crisis was the trigger. The hospital only made it worse. You were visiting Adrian and Wynter at a happy time, so there’s no trauma associated.”

“Yes, I suppose that’s true.”

“Tom would want you to be kind to yourself, wouldn’t he?”

“He’s always telling me to quit being so hard on myself.”

“That sounds like good advice.”

“It’s a hard habit to break.”

“Yes, it is, but we all do the best we can. Nothing says you have to be the one to care for him. He has a sister and a family, friends and other people who can help. I’m sure his procedure will be a success, and he’ll fully recover, which makes everything about this different from what you went through with Jim.”

“That’s also true.” You see why we all love her so much? “How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Cut directly to the chase in any situation.”

“It’s her superpower,” Gage says when he comes into the room carrying glasses of wine for both of us.

Iris takes both glasses from him and hands one to me. “Thanks, love.”

“Thank you, Gage.”

“You got it. Be right back.”

The first sip of wine has the medicinal effect of taking some of the raw edge off my shattered nerves.

Gage returns with a cocktail glass containing the bourbon he loves.

“Thanks for this, you guys. I can’t believe the way you came running for me tonight.”

“We’ll always come running for you, the way you have for us,” Gage says.

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