Page 42 of In the Air Tonight

“I do. I’ve always known that. Love you, too.”

“How’s he doing?” Kane asks as he delivers a cup of tea to me.

I sit up on the sofa and take the mug from him. “Thanks. He’s doing okay. Upset, of course. I feel like that’s the word of this summer. Upset.”

“I prefer something more like resilient or courageous or inspiring.”

He makes me smile when I would’ve thought that was impossible today.

“Is it strange that I’m sad about the baby despite everything?”

“I can see why. He or she had nothing to do with any of this and deserves to have someone mourn for them.”

“It helps me that you understand.”

“I do. I feel sad about it, too, and not just because the baby would’ve helped you get justice.”

“That’ll be much more complicated now.”

“All you can do is tell the truth and hope for the best.”

As I try to imagine taking the stand to testify against Ryder, my whole body goes tense.

“Don’t worry about that now.” I should be used to how he can always tell what I’m thinking. “There’ll be plenty of time for you to prepare for that later. Right now, you need to focus on resting and healing. Okay?”

My gaze meets his, which is full of concern and love. So much love. “Okay.”

Chapter 10

Neisy

THEN

Two weeks after my miscarriage, Kane and I return to Rhode Island for a hearing in the case. Ryder’s defense attorney has filed a motion to dismiss the charges due to a lack of physical evidence. The judge has asked all parties to be present and prepared to answer her questions.

After this, we’ll head to my father’s apartment in Virginia, where he stays when he’s there. He’s working on renting a house in our former district for our senior year.

I’m still not sure if my mother will be joining us, but I’m not asking any questions. As long as I don’t have to go back to school in Rhode Island, I’ll be fine.

Kane is worried about whether I’m strong enough for the hearing.

I’ll have to recount what happened in open court, with Ryder, his family and friends in the room. The thought of seeing him again makes me as sick as I’ve felt since the miscarriage, but either I show up to this hearing or he gets away with what he did.

It will all come down to the judge.

The prosecutor, a very kind assistant attorney general named Neil DeGrasso, has told me it could go either way. Neil said it will depend on which one of us the judge believes, and whether she thinks we have enough to convince a jury of Ryder’s guilt.

With no evidence or witnesses to back up my story, it’s possible the judge will decide my testimony isn’t enough. I have no doubt his attorney will make sure Ryder’s manyaccomplishments are taken into consideration. Neil warned me that the defense attorney would ask why a well-liked, accomplished young man like him would need to rape anyone. It isn’t a fair question, Neil said, but he wanted me ready for it.

We arrive at my parents’ house at eleven o’clock the night before the hearing.

My dad is waiting at the door to greet me. I feel like he’s aged ten years since he heard I’d been attacked.

He hugs me tightly.

When he steps aside to let us come in, I’m surprised to find my mom standing there, nervously awaiting the chance to greet me.

I hug her. “Hi, Mom. It’s nice to see you.”

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