Page 19 of In the Air Tonight

“Only if that’s what you want me to do.”

Another long moment of silence passes before I can’t hold it back any longer. “I was raped. Three weeks ago.”

“Do you know the person who assaulted you?”

I nod. “We go to school together.” I can’t believe the profound relief I feel at knowing someone else is aware of what happened to me.

“And it was your first time?”

“Y-yes.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you, Denise.”

“My friends call me Neisy.”

“Neisy.” She provides more tissues as I need them. “Were you injured?”

“I think. Maybe. It hurt for a long time after.”

“Would you consent to an exam so I can check to make sure you’ve healed properly?”

“I don’t… I don’t think I can do that.”

“That’s fine. It can wait.”

“Wh-what should I do?”

“I can’t tell you that.”

“What would you do?”

“I’d want him to pay for what he did to me.”

“No one would believe me. He’s everyone’s best friend, a star athlete and student. He’s supported his longtime girlfriendthrough cancer treatment. I’m new to the school as of last year, and they all hate me. It would be my word against his.”

“If you’re pregnant, the baby’s DNA would back up your story.”

I hadn’t thought of that, and for the first time, I feel a spark of hope that I might get justice for what was done to me. But then I consider what’ll happen if I accuse Ryder Elliott of raping me, and I shrivel into a ball of dread.

“I can’t report it. I just can’t. It would be a nightmare.”

“You’re the victim of a crime, Neisy, a crime that wasn’t your fault in any way.”

“The girls in my school would say I was asking for it. They decided on day one that I was a slut, and they’ve been awful saying things about me ever since.”

“I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with that.”

I shrug. “Most of the time, I don’t care what they say because I know the truth. But this…this would be different. They grew up with him. They’d defend him and say it was impossible. They’d make me out to be a whore, and say I had it coming.” I shudder just thinking about it.

“All those things might happen, but you’d force him to defend himself against the charges in court. Even if he’s acquitted, the accusation would stay with him forever. You may also find you’re not the only one he’s attacked.”

That possibility has never occurred to me.

“Or, you may be the first but not the last.”

A surge of bile from my stomach burns my throat and makes me gag.

She hands me the cup of water, and I take several careful sips.

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