Page 180 of In the Air Tonight

I lean my head on his shoulder, amazed by everything that’s happened. By coming home to right a terrible wrong, I also found true love. “I feel like you’re my reward for finally doing the right thing.”

“I can live with being your reward for a job well done.”

Epilogue

TWO YEARS LATER…

Ryder

I live for Sundays, when I get to see my kids, who are now nine, seven and five. They’re growing up so fast, which breaks my heart. I’m missing everything with them, but at least I get an hour a week to catch up and to make sure they know I always love them, even when I can’t be with them every day.

Kids are amazingly forgiving, and I’m lucky they still love me, too, despite everything I’ve put them through. They send me pictures and letters in the mail, they bake treats to bring to me, and they always tell me they love me, even if I don’t deserve it.

I had a rough couple of months after Marty attacked me in the courtroom, breaking my jaw and leaving me with a concussion that messed me up for a long time. They charged him with a misdemeanor, which was fine with me. I don’t blame him for his outrage. I deserved it, but I could’ve done without having my jaw wired shut for two months. That sucked.

About six months after I began my sentence at the state prison in Cranston, I received divorce papers from Caroline. Though she brings the kids to see me every week, I hadn’t heard a word from her in all that time, so I wasn’t entirely surprised. But it hurt like hell to sign those papers and return them to her. I did it because it was what she wanted, not because I don’t love her anymore.

I’ll always love her, but our marriage ended the day I was arrested at the ballfield.

Some things you can never come back from. Lying to my wife for most of a decade is one of them, and I own that along with all my other failings.

I’ve found God in prison.

That might sound funny coming from me, but after completely tuning out everything that happened in church as a kid, I’m comforted by the forgiveness God offers to all his creations, even the ones like me. I attend a weekly Bible study and have read the good book cover to cover twice now. I learn something new every time I pick it up, and it brings me tremendous peace, which was hard to find for a long time.

Bridget tells me there’s talk of an early release for me, perhaps as soon as a year to eighteen months from now. I don’t get my hopes up. I’ve learned to take things one day at a time, knowing if or when I get out, I’ll have all new challenges to face. For one thing, I’m not sure how I’ll support myself as a convicted felon. For another, Caroline has full custody of our children, so my time with them will still be limited.

That’s okay. I’ll take what I can get.

The kids always come into the visitation room alone.

Caroline waits for them outside the door.

They hug me and kiss me like they always did, clamor for my undivided attention and share the latest news about their friends, the sports they’re playing, their new dog and their cousins.

“Houston is building us a swing set,” Grace tells me.

The words hit like a flaming arrow to my heart. “Houston is?”

“He’s Mommy’s special friend,” Elise adds.

It’s all I can do to keep breathing after hearing that. Of course she’s seeing someone. But Houston, who was my friend? That hurts.

“Are you mad, Daddy?” Miles is old enough to understand how these things work.

“Not at all. Your Mommy deserves to be happy.” That much is certainly true.

We play a game of Chutes and Ladders that they brought with them.

Elise wins for the first time ever and is so delightfully excited that it brings tears to my eyes.

Our hour is up long before I’m ready to let them go.

“Hey, guys, give me some big hugs to last me a whole week.”

They always deliver.

“Are you safe in here, Daddy?” Grace asks me softly.

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