Page 140 of In the Air Tonight

“Hello,” I whisper.

“Is this Denise?”

“It is.”

“This is Josh Spurling from the Rhode Island Attorney General’s office.”

I get up and take the phone into the kitchen. The twins crashed on the sofa while watchingBaby Shark, which is another reason I’m losing what’s left of my sanity.

“What can I do for you?” I ask him. My heart is in my throat as I wait to hear what he has to say. With my life so busy and chaotic, it’s easy to forget for a minute or two what’s going on in Rhode Island.

“Mr. Elliott has expressed an interest in pleading guilty in exchange for a lesser sentence.”

I have an immediate, visceral and negative reaction to the words “lesser sentence.”

“Denise?”

“I’m here. What would his sentence be?”

“We’d propose five years in prison with three years of probation after he’s released. It’s likely he’d do fewer than five years if he behaves himself in prison. He’d be a convicted felon and required to be on the state’s sexual offender registry for life. The deal is contingent upon approval by the judge overseeing the case.”

“Doesn’t it have to be approved by me as well?”

“We’d prefer to have your support when we take it before the judge.”

“What if that outcome isn’t enough for me?”

“It would spare you from having to relive the attack in open court.”

Until he says that, I hadn’t realized how much I’ve been looking forward to the opportunity to testify, to makehimunderstand the full extent of what he put me through.

“What would be enough?” Spurling asks.

Without hesitation, I say, “I want him to sit in a courtroom, with his many supporters behind him, and hear that not only did he rape me, but he stole my virginity and left me pregnant. I want him to hear about my horrendous miscarriage and how I needed transfusions because I lost so much blood. I want him and all the people who supported him without question to listen to Blaise testify thatshe was there, and she saw what he did. I want all the men who lied about me being promiscuous to be scared senseless of what’s going to happen to them. I wantvindicationfor what they did to me.”

I’m shaking from the surge of emotion, but resolute in my determination to see this through. Charlotte walks into the kitchen and gives me a concerned look. She’s not used to hearing me speak that way to anyone. I hold out my hand to her and wrap my arm around her. The heat of her body against mine has an immediate calming effect.

“I’ll speak to the AG and be back in touch.”

“Thank you.”

“What’s wrong, Mama?”

“Nothing, honey. Everything’s fine. How’re you feeling?”

“Better.”

“That’s great news. Daddy will be home in a few hours. Why don’t we snuggle on the sofa with the boys and watch a movie?”

“It’s my turn to pick.”

“Anything butFrozen. I’m having dreams about snow because I’ve seen it so many times this week.”

She giggles. “How aboutCinderella?”

“The boys will love that.”

“Not Levi.”

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