My moms livedin the suburbs outside the city in the same house I’d grown up in.
I pulled into the driveway and laughed as my moms ran through the front door to come and hug Juniper, who was desperate to get out of the car.
“Hey, Mom,” I said as I was swept up into a hug that smelled like cinnamon and lemon floor cleaner and all those warm and comforting things that meant you were home.
Mama scooped up Juniper and we all went into the house, which was cool, thanks to the air conditioning. Family pictures and my various attempts at art covered the walls and I wanted to roll my eyes and tell them to take it down, but they wouldn’t.
To say they were proud of me was an understatement. They’d even smashed their names, Lara and Allison, together to create mine.
Juniper talked a mile a minute, as usual, while Mama exclaimed over her drawings and said she’d put them right on the fridge.
“Is there any room?” I asked, pointing to the fridge that was already completely covered.
“We’ll just have to get another fridge,” Mama said, holding up Juniper’s drawings.
“Darling, we’re not getting another fridge,” Mom said, shaking her head. She and I shared the same brown eyes that she rolled as she turned to me.
“Are you hungry? I’ve got all kinds of things.” She then proceeded to list anything and everything in the pantry and the fridge while Mama did her best to put up Juniper’s art and then they went out to the backyard. Not only had my old swingset been replaced by a much fancier one with a playhouse, my moms had also gotten a pool for Juni and put it up every summer.
“I’m good, Mom. Maybe some coffee?” There was never enough coffee.
“Oh, my sweetheart. You look exhausted,” Mom said, running her fingers through my hair.
“Thanks,” I said, my tone dry.
Mom kissed my forehead. “You just work too hard. You know you can leave Juniper with us more often.”
“I feel bad leaving her with anyone,” I mumbled.
Mom scoffed. “You’re not leaving her with justanyone.”
“I know,” I said, stepping away from her. “Okay, fine. Maybe I’ll have one of those brownies if you’re offering.”
Mom grinned. “I’m always offering.”
My moms played in the pool with Juniper while I sat in the shade with my ereader. I was probably naive when I thought that owning a bookstore would mean I’d have more time for reading, but now I could justify my reading for my job, so it was easier to find pockets of time for it.
When Gram and I talked about my bookshop, we had never specified what kind, but she’d also been the one who had willed me her entire romance book collection of dozens upon dozens of mass market paperbacks that now lived in my moms’ house, with the favorites in the family library. In addition to new books at my store, I was definitely going to have a section of gently used books. Inspired by all of Gram’s books, I’d decided to focus my store on romance and call it Between the Sheets. Just a little bit naughty.
Mama came over and sat down in a chair next to me, wrapped in a towel. She winced.
“How’s the hip?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s fine.” She was having surgery to replace it in a few weeks and would be out of commission for babysitting. Mom would be taking care of her and also still working. The two of them had met years ago when they’d both worked at the same bank. Now Mom worked in HR for a newspaper and Mama had become a hair stylist but had gone back to school to become a paralegal and then went to work for a law firm.
I tried not to worry too much about the surgery, but it still nagged at my brain, along with all the other worries that sat on my shoulders and whispered in my ear.
“Are you sleeping, honey?” Mama said, reaching out and tucking some of my hair behind my ear. I set my ereader aside and turned my head to look at her. A few gray hairs threaded their way through her dark blonde hair that she’d had cut short for decades. More than once people had mistaken her for my dad, but she always laughed it off.
“Yes, Mama. I’m fine. Just busy. As usual.”
Her forehead creased as she frowned and stroked my cheek. “You know I worry about you. Both of you.”
“I know, Mama. But things are good.” Well. They would be. Once the bookstore opened and I had a regular schedule, things would be better. Juni would go back to school and everything would work out. As long as the bookstore made enough money. I’d made sure to keep enough money from my grandmother in case of disaster, but when it came to owning your own business, money flowed out of your account like water and there was never enough.
At least ten times a day I told myself that I’d made a huge fucking mistake and had doomed both myself and my daughter to debt and more debt. And humiliation.
“Oh honey,” Mama said, holding her arms out. “Come here.”