I laughed. That was something I always said when I baked. You always had to “test” some of it to make sure it was good. Especially if you were gifting it to someone else. Obviously that was just an excuse to eat whatever it was as soon as it came out of the oven.
“I think we can do that,” I said, getting a plate and setting two cookies on it.
Juniper did a little chef’s kiss gesture that made me laugh. She must have seen it on a TV show or something.
We both agreed that the cookies were more than satisfactory, and I packed the rest up in a container for Jo. Briefly I considered driving them over to her apartment, but that would be silly and unnecessary. She’d be here tomorrow to get them. I’d just have to make sure that she didn’t give all of them to Juniper.
The pizza arrived and I couldn’t help but wish Jo was here with us to eat it. Even though our table was only set for two, we could have sat on the couch together.
I should get a third chair. Just in case. Even though the table would be crowded. Should I get a bigger table? There wasn’t a lot of room, but I could rearrange the living room…
“Mama?” Juniper asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.
“Yes, baby,” I said.
“I think you’re my favorite,” she said in a matter-of-fact way.
“Oh, Juniper, you’re my favorite. Always.” I gathered her up from her chair and smacked kisses all over her face as she laughed and squirmed.
“Mamaaaaa,” she said.
“Okay, I’ll stop.” I still held her close as she snuck bites of my pizza.
I kissed the top of her head. “I love you so much, baby.”
“I hope you like cookies,”I said when Jo arrived the next morning. Her eyebrows went up.
“I do,” she said tentatively.
“Then you’re in luck.” I held out the box to her. “Juniper and I made them last night to thank you for the pizza.”
“Oh,” Jo said, looking down at the box. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You don’t, I mean, you’re not responsible for feeding us when you’re not here. You do so much already.” She went above and beyond. It hadn’t escaped my notice how much cleaning she did that I assumed she thought I wouldn’t notice. But I did. I’d come home and the pantry would be suspiciously tidy. Not that I was a slob or anything but sometimes I’d just chuck everything from the grocery bags inside without much thought. Jo had obviously gone in after me and lined everything up and made it look much better.
So many little things that she did. I wasn’t paying her enough, but I was already at the limit that I could afford. I wanted to do more. Cookies were the bare minimum.
“I’ll never turn down cookies,” she said, gripping the box so hard that her knuckles were white. We stood close, with the box between us and I looked down into her eyes. She had her glasses on today, but behind the clear plastic frames, her eyes weredark blue. Close to sapphire. I must have noticed them before, but not like this. She had the kind of eyes people wrote poems and sonnets about. Blue eyes just happened to be a weakness of mine. Juniper’s father had had them too and they’d made me overrule all my common sense.
“What is it?” Jo asked. I must have made a face at the thought of Juni’s sperm donor. The only good thing that man had ever done was helped me create an incredible daughter. Definitely a fluke because anything else he’d done was an utter failure. The second I’d known I was pregnant, I’d known he wasn’t going to stick around and I’d been right. He’d practically run away from me when I told him and given him the chance to be involved. And when he’d asked for a paternity test so I didn’t “scam” him “like girls do,” I’d told him that actually, I was going to deal with this on my own and he could go choke on a billion dicks in hell.
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. I needed to get going. The flooring was getting installed today. I’d looked at doing it myself, but what if I did it wrong and then had to pay someone to fix it anyway? There were a few things I was comfortable with, but I didn’t want to take chances with this. I’d rather pay more to get it right the first time.
“I should…” I trailed off, doing my best not to get lost in her eyes again. Somehow, I managed to take a step back and put some distance between us. There. That was better. Helped clear my head a little.
“Right. Yeah. You’ve got places to be. Things to do.” She appeared a little flustered too.
“Jo Jo!” Juniper yelled, jumping between us. For once, I was glad for her interference.
“Hey, Princess Juniper, what do you want to do today?” She set the cookies down on the counter and leaned down to Juni’s level. I knew how much my daughter liked it when Jo called her “princess.” It was cute.
“Hmmm,” Juniper said, doing the little thinking pose she’d picked up recently. It too was adorable.
“I’ll let you figure it out,” I said, leaning down. “Goodbye hugs, please.”
Juniper threw herself at me and I held her close, wishing I didn’t have to let go, but knowing it was the best for both of us. She and I needed to be independent from each other. We couldn’t end up like two emotionally entwined weirdos twenty years down the line that couldn’t leave the house without each other.
I let her go and watched as she grabbed Jo’s hand and pulled her down so she could say something in her ear.