Page 18 of Holiday Hostilities

“Gross, Jing.”

And with that entirely disconcerting thought about a man I work with, I bid goodbye to my crazy friend. Then, I duck into the airport bathrooms to get changed before hopping on the train to the RGM arena.

Nothing like spending my first Thanksgiving back stateside in a frigid, stale-beer-and-ammonia-scented arena, cheering on my big brother while doing my best to ignore the man I cannot stand as he skates onto the ice to the cheers of his adoring fans.

6

AARON

On home game days, we players usually walk into the arena with a swagger to our steps.

And it’s not just because we’re wearing suits we know we look great in.

Hockey players tend to be a cocky bunch, and I chalk this up to us spending so much time playing for stadiums packed full of fans with our names on their backs.

Honestly, it’s agoodthing. Overconfidence can do wonders for your game. Hockey is almost as much a mental sport as it is a physical one, and I know, from experience, that I need to work as consistently hard on my mental game as on my physical one.

So, no matter how I’m feeling on the inside—no matter how stressed I am that we lost to Baltimore last week when we should have won, and then barely tied with Toronto thanks to my fluke goal late in the third—I show up for a pre-game chat with the media like I own the place.

All thoughts about our shaky start to the season are banished far from my mind. I walk in like a winner. Play it up for the cameras. Answer questions from reporters about my stats, myteam’s chances in today’s game, and my thoughts on how our offense is going to play to win.

Today is our annual Thanksgiving showdown against Vegas, and so I’m also expecting to answer a few questions centered around the holidays and my post-game plans.

But I’ve never had to deal with a line of questioning quite likethisone.

“A… cockroach?” I ask, my brows drawing together. I must have misheard.

“Yes,” the reporter answers firmly before repeating her question. “Do you, Aaron Marino, feel that you resemble a cockroach in any way, physical or otherwise?”

I realize, quite stunningly, that I did indeed hear her correctly the first time.

“That depends on how handsome the cockroach is,” I joke, playing off the absolutely bizarre question with a charming smile.

“It was a regular American cockroach, according to my source.” The reporter doesn’t smile back. Her head is instead tilted in challenge. “Apparently, the options included cockroach, grasshopper, or small rodent, and she opted for cockroach.”

She opted for cockroach.

What in thehellis this woman talking about?

I stare at the reporter, wondering for a moment if she has lost her marbles since the last time she interviewed me.

“Well, I’m not sure what cockroaches—or small rodents, for that matter—have to do with this afternoon’s game.” I try to redirect her questioning onto what actually matters (hockey) and get the interview back on track while pushing down the rising flicker of anxiety in my belly. Falling back on old habits, I shoot the scowling reporter my best flirtatious grin. “Unless we’re talking about crushing them. Because this afternoon, we fully intend to crush Vegas. In fact, I’m predicting a shutout.”

Media training 101: When in doubt, deflect, deflect, deflect.

Media training 202: Follow that up with charm, charm, charm.

Which is something I’m usually pretty adept at.

Usually.

But the reporter—Sadie something-or-other, who has an evil glint in her eyes that would normally intrigue me because feisty women are my kryptonite—looks less than charmed. Instead, she presses her lips together smugly and I already know that her next question will have nothing to do with hockey.

“Is it true that the woman in question was a member of Aaron’s Army with whom you had some—ahem—extracurricular relations?”

The flicker of anxiety in my belly evolves into a prickle that climbs up the back of my neck. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I drop all attempts to be charming and opt for the simple truth. “But I think we should get back to talking about this afternoon’s game.”

“What are your thoughts on the cockroach being fed to an iguana?” Now, it’s a bespectacled man from TSN who’s been asking me questions about my stats for years. He looks like he’s trying not to laugh. “Do you think this was a dig given that you’re playing against the Indianapolis Iguanas next week?”

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