Page 105 of Forbidden Deception

I left before I could cause more damage to you.

Forgive me.

Nothing has been able to get me to laugh or get my mind off of Rafael. Not shopping with Ambrose, cooking with Aurora, doing my usual accounting tasks with Remo, and not even Helia’s teasing.

I have fallen, and I have fallen hard.

It’s a deep ache that pummels my heart. Over. And over again.

My phone is with me. It’s here, but I cannot talk to Rafael.

Getting off the window, I walk towards my phone and grab it off the bed.

Should I try?

It’s only been a week.

I click on his profile, but my hand trembles when I try to dial.

I bite my lip.

Thump.

I can do this.

I won’t ever know if he will pick if I never try.

Taking a deep breath, I dial and hold it to my ear.

“The person you are trying to reach is unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone.” My heart squeezes tightly inside of me as the tune rings.

“Rafael…” My whisper is shaky.

What if he doesn’t hear it?

Didn’t he block me?

It doesn’t matter.

“I hope you understand that I couldn’t do this to you and Remo.” I take a deep breath. “I left before I could destroy two parts of my life that I am unable to live without.”

“Would you like to listen back or re-record the message?”

I don’t answer the phone, not knowing if I want to delete it or send it to Rafael.

Instead, I record another message for someone else.

I take a deep breath and shut my eyes.

“Please leave your message after the tone.”

I pause for a second.

“Hey, Danyi. I know you probably read my letter and possibly found my apartment empty. I am unreachable because I changed my phone number. I said this in the letter, too, but I want you to hear me say it. I’m sorry, Danyi. I’m so sorry. I not only fooled you, I betrayed our friendship, ripped apart our trust, and I am so, so sorry. You won’t believe me after this, but trust me when I say it has been the hardest decision I’ve ever made.”

I take a deep breath, only for it to come out shaky.

“I broke my own heart, broke it to pieces when I left you and Rafael. And yes…” I laugh. “Rafael was my forbidden boyfriend. He was the one my heart finally called out to. I know you had your suspicions when you found us sitting too close or laughing or even finding comfort in each other when we were in the same room. I hate this more than you do. I hate myself more than you both probably hate me. I was sent on a mission to find a file. Just one file. And I was supposed to destroy it. I didn’t anticipate building relationships that would mean the world to me.” I sniffle, opening my eyes to find cold and empty trees outside my window.

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