Page 15 of Full Throttle 2

He joked. “I don’t want you to think you’re just a booty call or a kept woman. You’re too good for that.”

Lila’s smile faltered, and her mind raced with a mix of anxiety and guilt.Hadn’t I been just that? If the truth ever came out, she wondered if Brian might feel differently about her.

“You know,”—he spoke with a mouth full of food and a tone filled with reverence—“sometimes I feel like the luckiest guy in the world. I mean it. You’re damn near perfect. I mean, I know you’re notperfect. It’s still hard to believe that a fuck up like me could land a Rhodes Scholar.”

Lila forced herself to maintain a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “C’mon, Brian. You were never a fuck up. Like most people, you were trying to find your way. And I’m lucky too. For the record, I didn’t go to Oxford.”

“I know, or else we never would have met, but you could have gone. People in my circle weren’t getting full scholarships to those kinds of colleges. We were getting full rides toWhere’s the Party Universityand takingTurn that Drank Up 101classes.”

“You got into Dartmouth, Brian. That’s not an easy college to get into.” The way he always looked at her, like she was something precious, something untouchable, made her uncomfortable because it was a lie. She couldn’t help but feel like a fraud.

“Daddy pulled strings. Now, Liam, he got into Harvard on his own, but without the help of my family, I wouldn’t have even gotten into community college.” Brian moved closer, his hand finding hers. “Nah. I’m the lucky one. The way you carry yourself, the way you’ve handled everything life’s thrown at you...It’s inspiring.”

Lila’s throat tightened as he spoke. She didn’t deserve these words. Not when she had been a kept woman, someone whose world revolved around wealth and success. Modeling hadn’t been able to pay the bills, and she’d crossed some lines. His pedestal was so high, and she couldn’t help but feel like he was describing someone else. “Brian...” She couldn’t stop herself from speaking the truth, at least some of it. “I love the way you see me, but I’m just...I don’t know. Remember, I came back home to get my life together.” Nervously, she laughed, “Clearly, I haven’t been able to handle everything life’s thrown at me.”

Brian gently cupped her face in his hands, his thumb tracing her cheek. “I know you think I don’t see the struggle behind your smile, and I know it’s hard sometimes, but you’re so much more than the doubts in your head. I knew that the first time I saw you. That’s why I don’t mind giving you everything, including my credit card, but for some reason, you won’t take it.”

Because I love you and don’t want to be kept by you!Lila looked away, catching a tear before it slid down her cheek. “I’m not this perfect woman you think I am, Brian. I feel...I feel like a failure sometimes.”

Brian’s expression softened. “You could never be a failure in my eyes. You’re more than enough. But you have to believe that for yourself too.”

Lila couldn’t love Brian any more than in that moment. So much that her heart wanted to explode, but she didn’t know how to reconcile the woman he adored with the woman she feared she had been. All she could do was look into his eyes, hoping andpraying that, one day, she would become the person he believed her to be.

Chapter Eight

Colby was running on fumes by the time she made it home to catch Liam’s call, but she was never too tired to talk to him.

His voice was a balm to an otherwise shitty day. And after hearing the deep timbre of his voice, she could finally exhale. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Liam heard the exhaustion in her voice. “Long day?”

Colby kicked off her shoes and crawled on top of her bed. “You caught me just as I was finishing up reviewing some tape.”

“You’re reviewing tape this late?” Liam looked at his watch. “Isn’t it like 3:30 in the morning there?”

“It is. Too bad I can’t command time to stand still.” Colby laughed half-heartedly, “If I could, my photoshoot would have ended hours ago instead of one a.m.” She yawned. “Unfortunately, I’m out of wiggle room, so that’s why I’m still up reviewing tape.”

“I should let you go. You’ve got to get some sleep.” He missed Colby like crazy and was disappointed they wouldn’t get to talk for too long. “A photoshoot? This close to the next race?”

“No. Not yet. I’ve been waiting all day for your call. And as I told Lila, Mark said it was the only time available.”

Inwardly, he smiled. “That’s nice to hear, but?—”

Colby cut him off. “Nobuts.”

Liam had been traveling a lot over the past few months, this six-week stretch being the longest, but he was doing his best to get through his business review meetings as quickly as possible so he could get home and make sure she was taking care of herself. “This hasn’t become your normal routine, has it?”

“Time is relative, and a girl has to get it in whenever she can find the time. Shortcuts won’t get you to the winner’s podium.”

“Yeah, but don’t you have to be at the garage in like”—Liam checked his watch again—“four or five hours?”

Colby released a long sigh. “I do.”

“That, to me, doesn’t sound like you’re getting enough rest.”

“I get what I need. Can’t wait for you to come home.”

Liam was concerned but didn’t want to spend the few minutes they had arguing. “Can’t wait to get home too. Unfortunately, it probably won’t be until a day or two before Atlanta.”

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