Page 50 of Wine Whiskey & Lipstick

“I would have felt better.” Ben chuckled. “Why didn’t you let either of us do it?”

“Steven is a high-profile attorney in New York and you . . .”Are a high-profile environmentalist.“Can you imagine the press?”

Ben took her explanation the wrong way. “Are you still hung up on him?”

“No! Ohmygawd. No. It’s just, you shouldn’t have to suffer the public scrutiny of being associated with someone like me.”

“Someone like you? Someone who is kind, thoughtful, and loyal to a fault?”

“I don’t see myself that way.”

“How do you see yourself?”

Dillyn shrugged. “Steven says I’m a slut and a liar.”

That man was really in her head. Ben hated that for her. “I don’t give a fuck about what Steven thinks. What do you think?”

“I just want to be a good person.” Her eyes were watery. Dillyn had to fight to find the words. “I want to have love and give love.”

Ben didn’t care about her past, but he didn’t understand how the woman standing in front of him was so amazing and did not know it. Ben lowered his head and allowed his lips to hover just a fraction of an inch away from hers. “I think you’re a good person, and I want you to have love too.” Ben couldn’t help himself. He was too close. This time, he moved in for a kiss.

Just before his lips connected with hers, Dillyn whispered, “I know I kissed you first, but this can’t be a good idea.”

“Probably not.” He knew that she was filled with too many emotions and was nervous. Hell, so was he.

Dillyn’s heart started racing. She began to feel warm all over, and her anxiety levels shot through the roof.It’s only a kiss. You just kissed him! Why are you trippin? What’s the difference from when you kissed him? Control. You had it. Now he has it.Warning bells started going off in her head.I can’t do this.Dillyn was on the verge of a full-on panic attack. She gave his chest a gentle push. Dillyn spoke his name in a breathless whisper. “Ben, I . . .”

He felt her entire body tense up. Ben was confused.Hadn’t she just tried to kiss me?He knew damn well he was moving too fast.Slow down, cowboy. Ben loosened his hold and pulled back to look at her. There was genuine fear in Dillyn’s eyes. He had to fix this. Immediately, he dropped his arms to his sides. “I’m sorry. I know it’s too soon, and I would never try to force you—”

“No. Gawd. That’s not it.” Dillyn shook her head adamantly.

“Tell me what’s wrong, and I’ll fix it.”

Dillyn was falling for Ben fast and hard. If she had a shred of a chance of having a real relationship with him, that would mean she had to be wholly honest. She dropped her head and stared at her feet. Her words were mumbled.

Ben couldn’t make out anything Dillyn was trying to say. He took her by the hand and sat back down on the couch. Ben pulled her onto his lap. Patiently, he asked once more. “Let’s try this again. Tell me, what’s wrong?”

Dillyn was laser focused on her hands. They were clasped together tightly in her lap. Nervously, she chewed on her lower lip. Finally, she took a deep breath and started talking. “I’m not like normal women.”

Ben wanted to kill Steven. That man did his damnedest to break her. If Dillyn allowed him, Ben would do anything to build her back up. “No. You’re not. You’re perfect.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m so far from perfect it’s not even funny.”

“You’re not looking at the same woman that I am.”

“You only see what can be seen.”

Gently, he prodded. “Then tell me about the parts I can’t.”

“I’m not . . . I’m not very good at relationships. I’m especially not good at . . . sex.”

“First, I find that hard to believe.” He pushed a wayward strand of hair out of her face. “Second, I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true. I don’t physically respond right, and you might as well know that sooner rather than later. It’s also the reason Steven called me a slut.”

“Dillyn, I don’t care what Steven—”

“I know you don’t care what he thinks, but Steven’s not completely wrong. He knows me better than anyone.”

---