Page 35 of Wine Whiskey & Lipstick

“She has done an incredible job,” Dillyn said softly. She needed a minute alone. There were too many people, and it was much too loud. She wanted some privacy to process why she almost had a whole panic attack.It was just a kiss.

“I’m going to walk around a bit.” Dillyn told her friends, “I’ll be right back. If you find her before I get back, offer her the job without me.”

*****

Ben was emotionally spent. He had smiled so much his face hurt. He’d also kissed way too many babies and women. The women’s kisses seemed to blend into each other except for one. Although Dillyn’s kiss wasn’t passionate, it bothered him that it was the most memorable. It was soft and tender even though she didn’t enjoy it. With her issue, why did she even do it?Why couldn’t I have just written a damn check for the charity?

Ben managed to escape from hosting duties and into his bedroom. He massaged the muscles around his neck as he walked over toward the window. It was getting close to dusk. Still, he could see everything around for miles, and that’s when she caught his eye.

Dillyn was standing next to the stream by the stables with her arms wrapped tightly around her body. He could tell by her stance that she was still tense. She seemed so alone and disconnected. Not just from the party but people. He noticed that about her when he had gone over to her place. It was something Ben understood, except he was much better at hiding it. He could be in a room full of people and still feel all by himself. That same energy radiated off her, drawing him like a moth to a flame. As if on autopilot, he decided to make his way down to that stream.

Everyone seemed to want a word with him as he made his way to her. Several people stopped him, but Ben managed to extricate himself from any lengthy conversations. Dillyn was elusive and could easily be gone if he didn’t get there in a hurry.

Dillyn’s back was turned away when Ben walked up. “Not enjoying the barbecue?” She jumped slightly at the sound of his voice.

Dillyn turned halfway.Why on God’s green earth does this man keep finding me?He was the last person she wanted to run into. Dillyn released a soft sigh into the gentle breeze. “Selah has outdone herself. It’s a pretty great party.”

“Then why are you out here by yourself?”

“Nosy much?”

Ben half-grinned. “Well, kinda. It’s my house and party too. It’s my job to make sure all the guests are having a good time.”

“Then count yourself successful. I’m having a great time.” Her words rang hollow.

She still hadn’t made eye contact with him. “A great time, huh? So then, what brought on your anxiety attack?”

Dillyn didn’t know how to answer. She was so embarrassed that he noticed. “W-w-what?”

“Your panic attack.” Ben repeated himself, but he was quite sure Dillyn heard him the first time. “Was it your phobia?” He also wasn’t so sure she had one since Dillyn hadn’t exhibited any other signs of it. Her phobia almost exclusively seemed to be targeted against him.

“I wouldn’t call it that exactly.” It was one of the reasons she was staring at the stream and trying to focus on the peacefulness of the water flowing through it.

Ben stared at her profile. She looked soft–delicate even. “What would you call it?”

Maybe if you just answer him, he’ll go away. Only Dillyndidn’t have an answer. In this case, the truth was all she could give. “I have no idea.”

“I remember the first time I had an episode. I thought it was a heart attack.”

That piqued her interest. Dillyn finally gave him her full attention. She was genuinely curious. “The first time?”

“Past couple of years have been . . .” he paused, “let’s just say difficult, and I started having panic attacks. I don’t have them too much anymore.”

Dillyn mulled over his words. “I didn’t feel as if I were having an actual heart attack, but,” she released a heavy sigh, “lately, I’ve just been a jumble of emotions. Depending on morning, noon, or night, any one of them can make an unexpected appearance.”

Dillyn gave off vibes of needing to be in control. She was behaving like a newborn foal that was completely out of her element and struggling. Ben decided to use the same tactic with Dillyn as he would on a filly when they were spooked.

He took small steps toward her as they spoke before finally standing shoulder to shoulder. “I understand that feeling of being all over the damn place.”

Dillyn cut her eyes to the side, catching Ben in her peripheral. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You mentioned the past couple of years has been hard. Is that why you’re out here stalking me? Or did you just need a break from all theladies?” Dillyn asked somewhat jokingly.

A deep chuckle escaped his lips. “I am thrilled that the fundraising part of this shindig is over.”

“That’s surprising.”

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