Page 67 of Full Throttle

Colby was on the verge of a breakdown. If she didn’t share her situation with someone, she was going to lose it. “I messed up.”

Gonzo tried to console her. “Whatever you did can’t be that bad.”

“Hear me out first,” she whispered.

Gonzo took a seat on the edge of Colby’s bed. She sat down next to him.

“I’m not driving this race, and I probably won’t ever drive for Lockwood.”

“What are you talking about? You are on the schedule. You’ve been practicing with the team—”

“I slept with Liam.”

Her words instantly shut him up.

“On purpose?” Gonzo asked.

He was so sincere that Colby almost laughed hysterically. “Um . . . yeah. While I’m pretty sure sleeping with him was a terrible decision, it wasn’t an accident.”

“So, are you into him? Is he into you?”

Gonzo was so sweet. He had no idea how his words sounded. Her honest answer would have beenwe were very into each other, and my body rages every time we’re in the same damn room.But Colby decided to keep that information to herself. “Honestly, it’s confusing. I should hate them both since they played me.”

“Okay, now I am really confused.”

“I’m here as window dressing. I’m not driving.”

“Brian said you were.”

“People say a lot of things. Doesn’t mean it’s true. Lockwood Racing only loaded up three cars. Asher, Chris, and Jordan are driving.”

“Asher is not here and hasn’t been to any of our practice runs.”

“Asher is Lockwood’s lead driver for this race.” Hurt and exhaustion from having to prove her worth wore on Colby’s resolve. “Lockwood needs a win. They believe Asher is the one who will give it to them, not me.” It hurt that Liam didn’t have faith in her. “He slept with me knowing that I thought I’d earned that spot! He knew I was not going to drive in this race. Honestly, I just don’t think I can go down to that restaurant and put on this dog and pony show.”

“Do you have feelings for Liam?” Gonzo asked quietly.

Colby lowered her head and clasped her hands together. She stared at the floor. “I don’t want to, and I don’t understand why after his betrayal. It happened so fast,” Colby hesitated, “but yeah, I do.” She stood and balled her fists up at her side. “Ugh! I hate this. How I feel about Liam is neither here nor there. I only came on this trip because of you, the guys, and my dad. I’m here to support y’all. There’s something else.”

“God, what now?” he asked.

“I haven’t told anyone yet, but when this is over, I’m moving back to Washington.”

“Colby!” Gonzo stood up forcefully. “Not driving in the Atlanta race is a disappointment, but you’re still on the verge of making history! Imagine what this will mean for little black girls and women of color all over the world. I know that your pride is hurt because you feel betrayed by Brian and Liam, but you’ve got to shake that shit off.”

“I’m just over it, Gonzo.” Colby was tired. “I’ve been carrying this weight for so long. It’s so damn heavy.”

“Then lean on me. We’ve got you.” Gonzo pulled Colby into a bear hug. He held her for a long time. After a while, he asked, “You good?”

His shirt was soaked. “I just ruined your clothes with my makeup,” Colby said.

“Yeah, eyebrows and mascara are everywhere.” He laughed. “Go fix your face, put some clothes on, and let’s go eat.” He gave her a compassionate smile and a gentle push. “I’m starving.”

Colby wasn’t in any mood to eat, but Gonzo made some valid points. He was right. She would do her best to enjoy the moment, if not for herself, for her friends.

She would deal with the rest later.

*****

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