Page 129 of Indigo Sky

"Fine," I grumbled and shoved out of my chair. “I’ll be back.”

I thought to make another joke, to tell him not to die while I was gone. But the thought got stuck in my brain as my eye teared up, and my throat tightened, and I realized there was no such thing as lightening the mood in this situation. Maybe one day, but … not today.

So, I simply left and hoped he’d still be there when I got back.

***

Her room was two floors above the ICU Nate was in. I walked down the hall tentatively, eyeing every door with uncertainty, until I spotted Crystal and Ivy standing outside an open door.

Kate must’ve had the cops call the club. Her found family.

I stopped some distance away to watch them hug and shake their heads. They whispered something and glanced back at the open door, as if they weren’t sure if they should go back inside or leave. Then, Ivy walked in the other direction down the hall, and Crystal turned to see me standing there, her face crumpling with instant sadness.

“Oh God,” she whispered.

She held her arms out, and I went to her to gather her in a tight, soothing embrace.

“I left her there. I just dropped her off at the shop and left,” she whispered against my shoulder, and I realized she was crying. “Oh God, Rev, why did Ileave?”

“You didn’t know,” I said, my chin moving against the top of her head. “Youcouldn’thave known.”

“I just wish I hadstayed.”

I could’ve told her that wishing was a waste of her time, that beating herself up wasn’t going to change a damn thing. But how could I feed her that bullshit when I couldn’t stomach it myself?

So, I just held her for a moment longer, then took a step back.

Her tearful gaze sought mine as she asked, “Can I see him?”

I didn’t need to ask who she was referring to. I only nodded. “Of course you can. You don’t need my permission.”

She offered a weak smile, then glanced over her shoulder into Kate’s room as she quietly said, “You don’t need mine either.”

I gave her the instructions to Nate’s bedside, and then she was on her way. I was alone in the hallway, staring into Kate’s room.

I couldn’t see Kate from where I stood. A curtain had been pulled to conceal her hospital bed. But I could see Wendy, sitting in the corner of the room with her head nestled against a wadded-up sweatshirt, her eyes closed. She might’ve been sleeping or just catching a moment of rest during a time when there was none—I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t see Saul, but I heard him, snoring gently from somewhere close to Kate’s side.

At least she has them, I thought and meant it.

“I know you’re there,” a quiet, weak voice said from inside the room.

Logic told me it was Kate. I knew it was. But I didn’t want it to be. Kate wasn’t supposed to sound like that. Kate was strong, bold, lively. This voice belonged to someone who was anything but, and the rage it incited in me was maddening.

I stood frozen, my fists clenched at my sides. She didn’t deserve to see me like this. She didn’t deserve me at all.

“Rev? Please,” she begged, her voice splintering like a flimsy twig.

I pushed out a breath, emptied my lungs, and forced one foot to move in front of the other until I was standing at the foot of her bed in the darkened hospital room. Then, I turned to look at her despite feeling like I didn’t have the right to. Not after everything.

She looked so small, lying in that bed. Frail. I couldn’t quite make out the damage done to her face—the light was so dim—but I could imagine, and I swayed on my feet, finding it difficult to stand upright.

My heart ached; my mouth fell open. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, not at all sounding like me, but something broken. Shattered.

She sniffled. “Revan, no, you—"

“God, Kate, I’m so fucking sorry.” I laid a hand over my face—to both catch my unabashed tears and block my view of her in that bed—and released a deflated breath.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, crying at the foot of her bed, and I didn’t know when my silent cries turned to body-racking sobs. But once the tears had started, they were relentless, a powerful force that I couldn’t contain even if I wanted to. I didn’t think about how stupid I looked, how ridiculous—I couldn’t. All I could think about was how she neverwould’ve been there, bandaged and bruised, in that bed, if I hadn’t broken her heart.

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