Page 37 of The Spider & the Storm

I highly doubted Ritchie would be far behind.

“They called me up to ask if I wanted to celebrate my birthday. So”—he patted himself down, making sure he had his pack of cigarettes, lighter, keys, and wallet—“I said yes.”

I narrowed my eyes warily. Luke’s twenty-first birthday had passed a couple of weeks ago. Why would they call himnowand not then? And why the hell did I feel so betrayed that he was leaving me to spend time withthem?

“Why would you say yes?”

“Because I wanted to, Charlie. Okay?” Luke’s hardened glare pierced through my skin and straight to my heart. The way it used to when we were younger. “I’ll be back later. Don’t forget a condom, all right? I don’t want any baby vampires running around here.”

He shot me with a pair of finger guns and a wink before turning and heading out the door before I could respond. He closed it behind him, and maybe I should’ve let the subject rest, but I couldn’t help the way my stomach turned sour. My insides twisted and ached at the thought of him seeing those guys again. Especially when the memory of them leaving withhim—Ritchie—was still so fresh in my mind. Like it had happened yesterday.

They didn’t stay to be with Luke on the day his parents were buried.

They left with Ritchie.

He was more important.

Do they evenlikeLuke? Does he realize that’s not what friends do?

But you know what? What the hell do I know? I don’t even have friends. Luke’s my friend. Melanie’s my friend. And if I don’t have them, then—

“God, finally,” Amanda groaned, completely oblivious to the turmoil in my head as she crawled across the couch to unzip my jeans. “Now, I’m gonna make you hard again, and then we’re gonna—”

“I …” I dragged my hand over my face before brushing her away. “No, Amanda, not now. I-I can’t focus, okay?”

She sat back on her heels, her hurt and rejection abundant and clear. “You seriously don't wanna do it now? Just like that?”

I gnawed at my bottom lip for a moment as I stared ahead at the TV, not quite processing what was playing, then sighed. “No, it's … it's not that. I'm just … I'm thinking, okay?”

She uttered a noise of disgust, and I watched her shake her head from the corner of my eye. “AboutLuke? You can't fuck me right now because you're thinking about your goddamnbrother?”

“You don't understand.”

She stood from the couch and crossed the living room to snatch her fuzzy leopard-print purse from Dad's recliner. I probably should've stopped her from walking away. I probably should've told her to stay, then pinned her to the couch andfucked her hard enough to forget what I was even worried about in the first place.

But what if Ritchie was at Tony's Bar with Luke? What if Luke forgave him for what he'd said the day of our parents' funeral? What if I had to see that asshole again after everything he'd done to me when I was a kid? The past couple of years without him around hadn't been perfect, but it'd been nice to not have him looming over my shoulder, whispering fucked-up nothings into my ear while he pulled my brother further and further away.

So, Amanda grabbed her hoodie from the arm of the recliner and pulled it on, and I remained on the couch, doing absolutely nothing to keep her from leaving.

“I'm going home,” she said with a sigh. “If you change your mind and decide youdowant to fuck me tonight, don't bother calling me. You can go ahead and jerk off yourself.”

“You're mad,” I stated plainly.

“Yeah, Charlie.” She shook her head, incredulous. “I'm fucking mad.”

“I'm sorry,” I replied, meaning it.

“Right. Sure you are. I'll talk to you later or tomorrow or … I dunno … whenever.”

She walked out the door, slamming it behind her, and I was alone in that living room once again, left to worry and obsess and panic about everything and nothing, all at once.

***

When Melanie got home from work, she found me sitting on the couch, bouncing my knees and staring at the TV. My thumbnail was wedged between my teeth; my bottom lip was chewed and peeling. She asked what was going on, and when I told her, she was about as suspicious as I'd been, but without the obvious panic.

So, we sat together until eleven o'clock rolled around and she made the decision to go get him herself.

“You wanna come with me?” she asked, but I declined, worried I'd have to face Ritchie. Worried I'd find he was still bigger, still taller, still as menacing as he'd always been. “Okay. I'll be back.”

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