Page 154 of The Spider & the Storm

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

CONNECTICUT, PRESENT DAY

The moment that puzzle piece had slid into place, Soldier's cautious demeanor toward me had disappeared altogether. So had Noah's, and I suspected that had everything to do with his father and nothing to do with me. Now, the two of them chatted with me like we'd been best friends forever, and on one hand, I enjoyed it. Soldier knew things about my brother that I didn't. He had stories that I couldn't tell, and the moment dinner was finished, and we retired to the living room to give our bellies a rest before dessert, he dived headfirst into one like he'd been waiting to share it forever.

“God, your brother, man …” Soldier leaned back against the couch cushions, crossing his ankle over his knee and stretching his arm across the back.

His eyes twinkled with mirth, and his grin made my own cheeks hurt. Luke always had that effect on people. He was likable, even at his worst, and at his best …

The guy could've gone places if he hadn't messed things up so damn badly.

But we'd already established that.

“I gotta tell you about this one time. So, there was this lady officer at Wayward—I think her name was Shawna, but I could be wrong. Anyway, she came to work there sometime around the time Zero—uh, Luke,” he corrected for my benefit, probably, “was brought in. We called him Pretty Boy for a while, for obvious reasons, and Shawna, or whatever the hell her namewas, agreed, I guess. ‘Cause it didn't take that guy long to, uh”—he raised a brow and shifted his gaze toward the toddler playing with a set of blocks on the floor—“get friendly, if you catch my drift.”

Noah rolled his eyes in Soldier's direction. “You act like I'm a little kid. I know what sex is, Dad.”

Soldier pulled in a deep breath and met the teenager's glare. “Yeah, I'm well aware. The censoring was for your little brother, wiseass.”

“Oh.” Noah's cheeks pinked as he sank deeper into the cushions.

“Anyway,” Soldier continued, the blended look of amusement and nostalgia returning to his face, “the way it was there, you could get away with some stuff, if you knew your way around. But if you weren't careful, it was easy to get caught. So, one night …” He stopped for a laugh to bubble past his lips, and I missed my brother so much that my heart throbbed angrily in my chest. “Luke and Shawna met up in the dorm bathroom. Now, I don't know if you know what that looks like.”

I shook my head.

Soldier sat up straighter and began to gesture with his hands, like he was painting a picture. “So, you have a row of urinals, a few stalls, and then a row of showerheads. That's it. Not many places in there to hide, is what I'm saying, okay?”

I nodded.

“So, Luke was in there with Shawna, who wasn't, uh, exactly discreet. I was awake, reading in my bunk, and I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I thought to myself,Oh shit. This lady's about to lose her job, and Zero's about to geta crapload of solitary. So, I jumped out of bed, got to the bathroom, and there was your brother with this chick up against the wall. She saw me in there, asked if I wanna get in on the action, and I was like, 'No, lady, and honestly, you probably wanna stop unless you wanna be out of a job in the morning.’”

He paused again to laugh, and I smiled, excited to know what came next.

“Luke never told me about this,” I said as I waited.

Soldier wiped the moisture from his eyes and said, “Oh, man, just wait. It gets better.”

He cleared his throat to continue, and now, he had the attention of Chris, Barbara, Ray, and Stormy, who had all come in from the kitchen after clearing the dinner table. Stormy came to sit by my side on the love seat, automatically taking my hand in hers as her head rested comfortably against my shoulder. All our eyes were aimed at Soldier, with the exception of Miles, who was more interested in building towers.

I imagined myself looking in on this sight, like a fly on the wall. All of us sitting around, sharing stories about a man not with us, the way you did when remembering fond moments with the dead.

The thought struck hard and morose.Sad. I didn’t like it. It didn’t sit well. I couldn't decide if I wanted Soldier to go on or just shut up altogether. But because he couldn't read my mind, he began to speak again.

“So, there was this other guard—”

“Harry?” Ray asked.

Soldier shook his head. “Not Harry. He was usually there during the days. No, this dude was, uh … not the nicest guy inthe world. They scheduled him at night ‘cause a lot of guys liked to pull shit when it was lights out, like good ol' Zero. Anyway, we heard footsteps coming toward the bathroom, and Zero shoved Shawna toward one of the stalls. Then, before I knew what this freakin' guy was doing, he grabbed me, yanked my pants down, and shoved me up against the wall where he’d just had Shawna. The guard walked in, saw us there, naked from the waist down, and he said, 'Huh. It's about time someone made Mason their bitch. I always knew he'd sound like a woman.' Then, he turned around and left, having no idea whatsoever that Shawna was hiding in the stall, standing on the toilet seat.”

Ray waited for him to stop speaking before asking, “Oh my God, that's so funny. What did you do?”

He looked at his wife, taken aback. “Are you kidding me? I turned around, punched him in the fuckin' face, and told him to buy me dinner first the next time he decided to rub his junk all over my ass.”

I couldn't help it; I laughed. We all did—hard. I laughed until my stomach ached and my face hurt, and when I was done, I realized I was also crying. Not from the laughter either—well, not entirely anyway. No, I was justsad, and I knew I’d said it before, so many times, but fucking hell, I missed my brother so damn much. I wished he'd been the one to tell me that story. I wished he'd known he could tell me about it. But … well, actually, I wouldn't have let him, would I? I never did. I had hated him so much for sharing any of the goodness he'd found behind bars, hated him so much for leaving me to fend for myself in a world that had never wanted me, and I'd spent every minute of my limited time with him making him feel bad for me.

Now, I just wished I'd had allowed him to make me laugh instead.

I quickly dried my eyes and played it cool, like it was only the amusement from Soldier’s story that had forced the tears to stream down my face. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to my emotional slip or hasty recovery, not even Stormy. But when my eyes landed on Soldier, I knew he knew, and I didn't like it.

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