Page 126 of The Spider & the Storm

My heart skipped a beat, though I couldn't understand why. “Soldier?”

“Oh, that's my sister's husband. I told you his name is Soldier, right? I thought I mentioned that.”

Perspiration coated the palms of my hands. “O-oh, right. Yeah, you probably have.”

Dread pushed the rice and beans in my gut aside, filling the space until I thought I might vomit all over the table.

What the hell is wrong with me?

It had to have been my anxiety getting the best of me. The thought of meeting Stormy's family and being back in a state that had never wanted me was slowly eating away at me, to the point of wishing I'd indulged in something harder in my glass than water.

That's all it is. That's all. I’m fine.

Soldier …

Connecticut …

My heart rate sped up. My mouth went dry. I ran a hand over my bearded chin, grasping at reality and this table and the people around me, seemingly oblivious to my slippery hold on the shreds of calm.

Breathe. I have to breathe.

Connecticut … the house … Luke …

Soldier …

God, why do I keep thinking about his name?! I’ve heard it before. I know I have, but …

My trembling hand reached for my water glass. Twitching fingers slipped off its surface, wet with condensation, and embarrassment heated my cheeks as my eyes darted up to survey the table. Blake, Audrey, Cee, and Shane were wrapped in conversation, oblivious to my fumbling fingers. But when my gaze fell to my left, locking eyes with the watchful stare of Stormy, my heart leaped to my throat.

She cocked her head and mouthed,What's wrong?

I shook my head and blinked rapidly as I looked away, successfully lifting the glass to my lips this time.

But she laid her palm over my clenched knuckles, and I turned my attention back to her, my eyes meeting hers once again over the glass.

“Iseeyou, Charlie,” she whispered, for my ears only. Reminding me once again that she managed to see things nobody else could—or was it just that they'd never been interested? “Tell me what's going on.”

It would be easy to avoid the topic. I could pretend to not have heard her, snatch a piece of the conversation between Cee and Blake and their respective significant others I wasn't currently listening to, and coolly slip myself into the mix in the way I had seen Luke do a hundred times in the past. The whole thing would be swept under the rug until we returned to the cottage, where she might or might not attempt to pick up where we'd left off. But in the cottage, there was also sex—the best distraction of all—and then there'd be sleep and the hope that she wouldn't bring it up again in the morning.

But there was a tug in my rumbling gut, pulling me in the direction of laying my secrets down. Presenting them all like a hand of cards.Take ‘em or leave ‘em. It was growing more and more exhausting to keep them locked up within my weary heart, and, oh, how equally dreadful and exhilarating it seemed to share them with someone else.

That someone could be her.

And what if she leaves?

I wasn't sure I could stomach the thought of waking up alone again after knowing what it was like to have her wild black hair splayed over my pillow.

But secrets could only remain buried for so long before they were unearthed, and the longer I kept them hidden, the angrier she'd be when they inevitably came out.

And nobody said it all had to happen at once.

Start small. If there is such a thing.

So, I trained my gaze on her hand, covering mine, and muttered, “Not now. Later.” And then, suddenly, I was terrified of being alone with her, scared of reliving the memories I tried so hard to forget.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

MASSACHUSETTS, PRESENT DAY

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