Page 120 of The Spider & the Storm

Charlie didn't turn from the stovetop, nor did he reply, but as I sat in one of the two rickety wooden chairs at the table, I did catch the tension in his jaw and the heated sidelong glance in my direction.

I reached out for one of the simple wooden black shakers in the center of the table and spun it as I continued, “So, anyway, I spent a lot of time in detention. I was suspended from school a few times. Not for anything crazy, but, like, I pulled the fire alarm a couple of times, got into a few fights that I could've avoided … that kind of thing. And, of course, the kids I was friends with weren't exactly the type to encourage me to do better. They were the ones daring me to do it in the first place, and I had a really hard time saying no, even if I knew it was wrong.”

My fingers froze around the shaker as my heart rate sped to a dangerous, concerning level. I was nearing the part I never liked to talk about, the part only two other people in the world knew about, the part that had hammered that final nail into the coffin, and I readied myself to say it and say it fast.

“So, when I was sixteen, this one friend of mine—I can't even remember her name—she had talked me into sneaking outof the house one night, which wasn't out of the norm for me or anything. But usually, we went to this clearing in the middle of the woods by the high school—The Pit, they called it.” My fingers began to tremble, and I clenched my hand tighter around the shaker. “This particular night though, this girl wanted to check out a club about an hour away. So, we drove down there—my parents had no fucking clue I was even gone—and as soon as we got there, my friend found some guy to talk to and ditched me.”

Charlie's back was no longer ramrod straight, but his lips curled between his teeth, and his white-knuckled fist clenched around the spatula as he moved the rice and vegetables around in the spattering wok.

“Um, so …” A quivering breath passed through my lips as I lifted my gaze to the lamp hanging above the table. “I got to talking to this dude at the bar. He bought me a few drinks, and I got a little tipsy. He seemed so freakin' nice, you know? And I was this stupid kid who felt special because this older guy was so interested in me—”

“Stop.” Charlie muttered the word, hanging his head, already seeing where this was going.

But I wouldn't. Not when I’d already started.

“He raped me,” I said quickly and quietly, and with those words hanging in the air, I was sent back there in an instant. To the backseat of his car, his enormous weight pinning me down, my words and screams of protest going unheard despite the eleven people I'd watched pass by the window.

I had counted each and every one.

“Goddammit,” Charlie gritted out through a clenched jaw, pinching the bridge of his nose with tattooed fingers.

“He didn't hurt me or anything,” I added, as if it made anything better. “He just … didn'tstop.”

Charlie turned off the burner with a little more force than was necessary. He reached for a cabinet door and opened it, grabbing two bowls, then slammed it shut, rattling the contents inside.

“Theydidn't stop,” he replied angrily, using the spatula to split the stir-fried vegetables and rice evenly between the two bowls. “That piece of shit deserves to rot in hell, yes, and I’d fucking kill him myself if I could. But all those people who were around … you can’t tell me nobody had any idea, and they didn’tstop. They heard and ignored it. Who the fuck hears agirlbeing …” His mouth twisted, but he couldn’t say the word.Raped. “And none of them tried to do something about it. How the fuck does anybody live with that? How the fuck could they notstop?”

I swallowed against the knot in my throat. “I told you not everybody would.”

He shook his head. “Fucking assholes. Every single one of them.”

The spatula was dropped into the pan, and he opened a drawer to retrieve two forks. Then, the bowls were carried to the table, where he handed me one before sitting in the chair across from mine.

Charlie's dark brown eyes met mine, the gold flecks I'd grown accustomed to now hidden beneath a veil of anger and hatred. It was similar to the look Blake had given me when I told him and Cee about what had happened in fewer details, but this wasn't the same. Charlie didn't hold an ounce of pity for me, only anger on my behalf and hatred toward the man who'd hurt me, and an unexpected lump of emotion built in my throat.

“You didn't tell anyone,” he stated.

I shook my head. “No.”

He nodded like he understood while Cee had unintentionally berated me for staying silent. “I never told my parents how many times my brother's best friend hurt me.”

“Physically?”

He answered with a small nod, and my heart broke a little more.

I couldn't imagine this man hurting even the smallest of creatures intentionally, not without reason. And knowing that he'd been bullied and tormented as a boy made me feel as murderous as he looked.

“I think, at the time, I was more afraid they'd be mad at me for sneaking out and having sex with this college guy,” I admitted, feeling stupid. “Hell, I hadn't even had sex at all before that night, and having to say it out loud and tell them I hadn't evenwanted it… I just …” My words drifted off as I cringed inwardly and shook my head.

“So, I”—my breath left my lungs as I diverted my gaze from his—“started having all these nightmares, and this other friend … this guy, Billy … he gave me a pill one day at The Pit, and just like that”—I snapped my fingers for effect—“the nightmares went away.”

Charlie hadn't touched his food yet, but to be fair, neither had I. He wouldn't look at me though and instead stared into his full bowl of fried rice and vegetables. He shoved his fingers into his long, thick hair, plonked his elbow onto the table, and held his head in his hand. Two lines formed between his brows as his other hand fingered the tines of his fork with no intention ofpicking it up. It clawed at my mind to ask what he was thinking about, but I didn't think it was my place to dig deeper beneath his skin when I'd already decided this was about me spilling my truth and not begging for his.

“And I guess that was really where I started fucking up,” I went on, trying to push past his obvious internal retreat from me and the conversation. “Somehow, I managed to graduate from high school, but I'm not sure it really mattered when I was surviving on pot and pills and whatever booze I could get my hands on. This one time, my little sister even followed me to The Pit—”

Charlie lifted his head abruptly, dropping his hand to the table. “Something happened to her?”

Tears pricked the backs of my eyes as my head jittered with a nod. “She, um … she met Seth, this creep who hung out with the guy I'd buy my drugs from. She liked him for some fucking reason, and … well, long story short, he forced himself on her, and she had his kid.”

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