Page 17 of Inherited Holiday

“So…” He paused for effect. “You’re admitting it’s all one big lie we tell children to con them into being nice to stay off the naughty list. This is simply a disciplinary tactic adults use and is used far too much if you ask me. Honestly, I don’t see how kids aren’t scared of the jolly old fat man. To me, he’s scarier than Freddy, and that lunatic can get you in your dreams.”

“You are seriously comparing Santa Claus to Freddy Krueger?”

“They’re on the same playing field. I mean, they’re both after children.”

My mouth fell open. “That’s horrible.”

“You’re telling me. I’ve been saying that shit forever.”

“I’m saying you’re horrible.”

“I know…” He leaned back into the couch. “I’m too honest. I’m sorry to burst your bubble if you thought I’d be different. I don’t believe in the mayhem that this holiday creates for everyone. It’s all about presents and decorations and traditions, ugh… it makes me exhausted just thinking about it. The stress and pressure parents put on themselves to create core memories and magical experiences could cause high blood pressure alone, and we both know what that leads to. I bet they hide all the medical records proving it does.”

“Who hides them?”

With a cheeky expression, he winked. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

“And you’re worried I’m the psycho?”

He grinned.

“Why would they hide them?”

“To keep the masses spending money.”

“Hmm…”

“Makes sense, right?”

“Yeah, from a realist perspective. I’m an idealist.”

“You know what they say, opposites attract.”

Feeling ballsy, I blurted, “Does that mean you find me attractive?”

“I’d be blind if I didn’t find you attractive, Noelle, and even then, I’d sense that you were beautiful.”

I blushed.

“The red in your cheeks matches nicely with the candy canes on your onesie.”

We locked eyes. “Well, besides that.” I changed the subject. “You really are the Grinch.”

He grinned again. “I’ve committed to it my entire life.”

“I see. So you’ve never been in a relationship? Never had a girlfriend?”

“And that surprises you, why?”

“I don’t know. Your family seems like they have their shit together.”

“I guess as much as a family can with putting immense pressure on their son to be someone he doesn’t want to be.”

“Hmm…”

“Are you judging me now? I’ll never lie to you, Elle.”

“You’re implying that you’ll see me again? I thought you didn’t do relationships?”

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