Page 16 of The Wrong Quarterback

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Jace: How magnanimous of you, QB.

Matty: Are you going to tell us?

Jace: Tell you what?

Matty: Fucking hell. The answer to the joke.

Me: I believe it’s called a punchline.

Jace: See, this is why we call you “big brain” behind your back.

Matty: I’ve literally never heard anyone call him that before in my life.

Jace: Maybe they say it behind your back. Maybe they don’t want you to get all offended and jealous.

The door opened, and a group of freshman girls filed in, giggling and casting glances my way. There was a reason this class had been the most popular one to get into the last two years—and it wasn’t because Professor Hendrick was an enthralling professor.

Spoiler alert. She wasn’t.

The professor in question shot me an exasperated glance from behind the desk where she’d been going over her lecture plans. I shrugged, because what could I do? I was worth the hype.

My phone buzzed again, reminding me that a pointless conversation was still taking place.

Matty: Why would I get jealous of the title “big brain.” They call me “big dick” behind my back. Which is much better IMO.

Jace: 1) Are you too lazy to write out “in my opinion” now. 2) Literally no one calls you “big dick.” I literally have an inch on you. So it would be a false statement.

Matty: IT’S A QUARTER OF AN INCH, SIR. WHICH STILL MAKES IT HUGE.

Me: So shouty.

I must have laughed because Professor Hendrick coughed and gave me another pointed look. Whoops.

Jace: Thanks, “Big Brain.”

Me: Also, I’d like to note that I have the biggest dick out of all of you.

Matty: Since you weren’t there the day we measured, we can’t be sure of that.