Page 48 of I Knew You Were Trouble

‘Whose room is this?’ I ask as Ravi ushers me inside the standard suite and away from the corridor.

‘It’s mine,’ the other man tells me. ‘I’m Tun.’

He holds out his hand and I shake it. ‘Nice to meet you properly, Tun,’ I say, recalling that I saw him briefly at the party, which is why he’s also wearing a suit with his tie loosened. He seems to be a similar age to Ravi – about twenty-three – yet taller, with South Asian heritage, his dark hair slicked back.

‘You’re the filmmaker,’ he says. ‘Nice to meet you too.’

‘Lexi. And you do costumes. Are you American?’

‘Burmese American. My mother is from Myanmar but I grew up in Minnesota.’

Whilst we talk, Ravi’s pacing the room, hands in his hair. It’s a moment before he speaks. ‘You weren’t supposed to see that,’ he says.

There’s no sign of his dimples now.

I point between them. ‘You and Tun… you’re… together? Or is this…’

Ravi looks away. ‘Nobody knows we’re an item,’ Tun murmurs, and there’s a hint of frustration in his tone.

‘Not even the other boys?’ I ask.

Ravi hasn’t taken his eyes off the carpet.

‘Miller is the only one who knows that Ravi is… is gay,’ Tun admits.

‘Miller?’ I repeat, in disbelief. ‘Please don’t tell me that’s why the two of you don’t get along? Because he’s homophobic?’

Ravi looks sheepish. ‘Actually, it’s the opposite. Miller’s been trying to persuade me to come out to the band for quite some time. Miller and I get on fine. Someone said we didn’t which is bullshit. But I don’t feel ready to tell the other guys. Not yet. And they don’t know about Tun, no.’

‘How long have you been together?’

Ravi’s expression softens. Tun takes him by the hand and his resulting grin means his dimples are fully on show. ‘Three months. Since before the start of the tour.’

I move my finger between them, a smile tugging at my lips. I might be stunned, but I’m pleased for them. ‘And does Miller know about the two of you?’

‘Nobody knows,’ Tun breathes. ‘Except you now.’

‘I’m in a boy band for god’s sake,’ Ravi snaps, pacing again. ‘I can’t come out.’

‘Ravi, everyone would understand if you’re scared,’ I say.

‘It’s not the guys I’m afraid of. I know they would be cool with it. It’s my parents. The rest of the world. I don’t wanna be the subject of a thousand TikTok videos shared online. Not when it’s me on my own and nothing to do with the band. This could ruin everything for Rebel Heart.’

‘So, in the meantime, I gotta wait,’ Tun sighs.

I think of the butterfly broach, still recording, and guilt knaws at my stomach.

‘What about the party later? Are you both going?’

‘Ravi ignores me in public,’ Tun states with a shrug. ‘But sure, we’ll both be there.’

Ravi goes over to his boyfriend, his hands in a prayer position. The two men lock eyes. ‘One day, I promise you,’ Ravi whispers and they embrace.

Without warning, Ravi then shifts and wraps me in a hug instead. I hope he can’t feel the battery pack, tucked inside the fabric of my dress.

He pulls back, locks eyes with me, his expression pleading. ‘Will you keep this a secret for us, Lexi? Please? For now?’

I’m losing track of my secrets.

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