Page 115 of I Knew You Were Trouble

I am reminded of Miller’s interview back in Chicago. Meredith’s face contorts, more tears flooding her cheeks. ‘It’s just that… I thought he’d… you know… wanna stay with me or something. Soon as it was over, he… he got out of the bed and got dressed.’

‘Oh, Mer,’ I say again, putting my arms around her, wrapping her in an embrace. Miller’s behaviour hardly surprises me. ‘I’m so sorry. Please tell me you used protection?’ Meredith nods her head furiously. ‘That’s not the worst of it though,’ she continues. ‘Lexi, I haven’t been honest with you, or Duncan, from the start.’

‘What do you mean?’

More tears. ‘I l-lied to you. On the plane to Japan. You said I couldn’t be more than twenty-four and I didn’t correct you. I’m… I’m twenty-one.’

I let out a sigh. Something clicks into place, as though I’ve known all along that she was younger than she’d claimed to be.

Meredith’s chin wobbles. ‘I wanted to tell you in Dubai. I first got into Rebel Heart when I was sixteen. I watched the TV show. I was, like, a… this massive s-super-fan… obsessed doesn’t even begin to describe it. I camped out; I bought all the merch, everything. I wanted to be, like, this groupie. I was like one of those girls we see outside all the hotels. So then, when I heard about the documentary through my father, I begged him to try and get me this job. I wanted… I wantedsobadly…’

I picture Miller having sex with Meredith like she was just another conquest. It’s not that I believe he would have intentionally wanted to use her, but it’s always been clear that he only cares about his own gratification.

I tuck a lock of hair behind Meredith’s ear. ‘You wanted to meet your obsession,’ I finish for her.

‘I’ve ruined everything,’ Meredith sobs, then covers her face. ‘They know, Lexi… about the filming. And it’s my fault.’ She takes a breath, wipes her eyes. ‘I didn’t mean to let it slip. Miller asked me something and I admitted it in a roundabout kind of a way, but then his curiosity was piqued and he grilled me to get the truth. All I wanted to do was get outta there. Then he finished getting dressed and said he needed to talk to Aidan. Lexi, I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.’ She starts sobbing again. ‘Oh god, and Duncan, what do I say to sweet, sweet Duncan? I’ve ruined everything.’

‘I’ll talk to Duncan. He’ll understand.’

‘Why would he? What did I do? I’m ahorribleperson.’

‘You’re not. You went after what you thought you wanted. You’re not the first woman to regret her actions. Me included.’

‘Can you ever forgive me?’ she asks.

I wrap her in an embrace. ‘There’s nothing to forgive.’

We sit quietly for a moment, absorbing everything. ‘I think I wanna go to bed,’ Meredith murmurs. ‘Will you walk me to my room?’

I help her up, wrapping her in another embrace.

‘Thank you, Lexi,’ Meredith says, and I feel a fresh wave of tears wetting the front of my pyjamas. ‘You’ve been so good to me this whole time.’

When I open the door, the sight of Aidan still waiting, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, causes a bubble of nervousness to burst in my chest. He straightens as the door opens.

‘I’m taking Meredith to her room,’ I say, trying to keep a level head. ‘Then I’m going to go and see Duncan. Then you and I can talk.’

‘Oh, so I’m third down the pecking order now?’ he says bitterly.

‘I will be right with you, Aidan. I’m sorry; this is the best that I can do.’

‘Is she alright?’ Duncan blurts before I’ve even made it inside his room and allowed the door to close behind me. ‘Should I go see her?’

‘She’s going to bed. Maybe send her a message. Wait until morning to see her in person.’

‘What happened to her? Was she hurt?’

‘She’s okay. She’s a little upset.’

‘Tell me, I can take it.’

‘She’s not twenty-four. Meredith’s twenty-one.’

‘What?’

‘She is… orusedto be… a Rebel Heart super-fan. Obsessed, and mainly with Miller. Followed the group everywhere. So, when the documentary happened, she persuaded her father to land her this job.’

‘Holy shit,’ he breathes.

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