Page 76 of I Knew You Were Trouble

In front of us, Cal is singing again, getting all the kids involved.

‘I’m gonna get some of this,’ Duncan says as he excuses himself, switching the camera back on.

I feel a tight lump in my throat, standing next to Paige and not knowing what to say. ‘Are you going to the show tonight?’ I manage, my voice coming out hoarse. The boys are playing in North Greenwich at the O2 Arena.

‘Yes, definitely. I watched it in Paris. My god, it’s something, isn’t it? The crowd went so nuts for J.B. I’m thinking tonight will have a much more British feel. Maybe all the Aidan fans will come out of the woodwork. Give his ego yetanotherboost that it really doesn’t need.’

‘That must feel odd. Seeing a bunch of strangers screaming his name.’

Paige nods. ‘It was odd at first. Before, he was just ordinary Aidan. Now he’spop starAidan. I can’t quite reconcile the two, you know?’

‘You were on the reality show too though, right? You auditioned for the girl band?’

‘Yes,’ Paige admits with a gangly grin. ‘God, seems like years ago now. I got all the way to LA and ended up being a runner-up. I always explain that the competition was much tougher for the girls. More than a third more girls auditioned around the world than boys, did you know that?’

‘No. I didn’t know that.’

‘I tell Aidey the bar was pretty low for the boys, and that’s the only reason I’m not standing where he is today.’

She winks and I laugh at that. I like her a lot.

‘What are you doing for Christmas?’ Paige asks.

My chest floods with panic. ‘I’m, ah, probably going to spend it with Duncan in Edinburgh.’

‘Right,’ Paige replies. ‘That’ll be nice, I’m sure.’

We fall silent, watching Cal continue to be the complete entertainer, the rest of the band all shaking their heads in embarrassment.

Paige suddenly speaks again. ‘Because I was thinking, and, you know, if you didn’t have plans, I was going to invite you to our parents’ pub for New Year. It’s called The Fox Den. On the Surrey-Hampshire border, it’s not too far out of London. I thought you could interview me for your project.’

‘I—’ I begin, lost for words. Usually, it’s me who goes cap in hand asking for someone to interview, not the other way around.

‘Don’t worry,’ she says, lowering her voice. ‘Aidan won’t be there. He’ll be in London.’

Secretly, I like the idea of seeing where Aidan grew up.

‘Why don’t you take my number?’ Paige suggests and I find myself reaching for my phone.

The only way a person would know it is Christmas Day in my flat is because there’s too much cheese in my fridge and a saucepan of mulled wine going cold on the stove top. I don’t really do decorations. Instead, I’m hunched over my laptop on the floor with a glass of the same mulled wine and yet another mince pie for company, watching through the covert footage taken so far for the documentary.

I skipped Rebel Heart’s three back-to-back London concerts, instead watching the O2 Arena lit up from across the other side of the Thames River, my coat pulled around me. Duncan agreed that he would stay on an extra day, recording some additional footage.

I’m still in my pyjamas at five o’clock when my phone screen lights up. My father is calling me from LA.

The first time he calls, I don’t answer. I think about switching off my phone for the remainder of the day. On the second call, I let out a heavy sigh.

It’s Christmas. I should at least acknowledge his existence.

‘Hello,’ I say blandly into the phone.

His voice sounds strained. ‘Hi, Lexi. A very merry Christmas to you.’

‘Merry Christmas,’ I say back. I hear my voice echo down the line.

‘How you been?’ he asks.

‘Good. I’m fine.’

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