Page 60 of I Knew You Were Trouble

I can’t bring myself to look at him. ‘Norovirus. Meredith’s looking after him. Hopefully he hasn’t given it to anyone else.’

We’re quiet for a moment. In a matter of seconds, the atmosphere shifts. Suddenly my tongue is thicker in my mouth. Aidan wipes the back of his neck with his hand. ‘I feel like… do we need to talk?’ he says.

I nod. I can’t make eye contact. ‘Maybe we could do the interview first,’ I say. ‘Then talk later.’

‘I… I wondered if you got my flowers,’ he asks.

‘I got the flowers that Bodhi brought to my door,’ I say. ‘Yes.’

Out of the corner of my eye, I think I see him wince. ‘Oh, well I—’ he begins, before muttering sheepishly, ‘I didn’t really have time to go and get anything myself. I didn’t know it was your birthday until such short notice.’

‘We were leaving the next day. I had to tell the lady from housekeeping she could have them. I didn’t have a vase so I filled a sink with water.’

He bites his lip. ‘Right, I should have got you something different. You never told me why you hate birthdays.’

All I can see is Vaughn Herrera’s face, talking to me about upholding my glittering reputation. The fact remains that I’m female: I have to work harder in this field to earn the respect of a man like Vaughn. Is he going to be impressed if I fall for a member of a boy band? It’s the worse kind of cliché, surely, and he’d probably laugh me out of the room if anything came to light.

‘I have my reasons,’ I say, my voice hitching in my throat, because the look on Aidan’s face is creased with worry.

‘Did I… do something?’ he says. ‘I thought… did I misread something?’

It was easier when he hated me.

‘I just think I have to be careful around you,’ I say quietly.

‘What does that mean?’ he asks.

‘It means… I have to remain impartial. I have to do my job.’

He’s quiet for a moment. His voice alters when he speaks. ‘Maybe we should just get this interview thing out of the way then.’ It’s the same tone he used when he first met me.

I nod, because I know he’s right, but the pain of rejecting him sears my chest.

‘There’s a bathroom if you need to change,’ I say.

He’s already unraveling his shirt from his waist. He yanks off his T-shirt, and I’m given the tantalising view of his bare chest, the sight of it sending little blades into my heart. I watch him put the black shirt on, fastening the buttons, and it occurs to me that when I opened the door, I could have had him. One smile, or a single touch and I believe we could have crossed a line.

A line which just cemented into a solid brick wall.

Later that evening, before I go to bed, I check in on Duncan with the keycard Meredith gave me. Inside, he’s sitting upright in the bed, watching TV, a glass of water in his hands, balanced in his lap.

‘How’s the patient?’ I ask.

‘Thanks, aye, wee bit better,’ he says, his even baritone even lower than normal.

‘Meredith being a good nurse?’

He blushes. ‘Might have seen more than she bargained for. She’s witnessed me running to the bathroom to puke my guts up in my kecks.’

I conceal a smile. ‘I’m sure she appreciated the view.’

He looks embarrassed. ‘How you doin’? How was Aidan’s interview?’

I lean up against the wall next to the bathroom, because it seems like a safe enough distance. I can’t tell him that I’m grappling with emotions I’ve not experienced before, that I’ve been pacing in my room all afternooon.

I nod. ‘It was good. Solid.’

‘He say anythin’ interesting?’

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