Page 80 of Calling Frank O'Hare

She dropped her bag in the hall and took her drink straight into the bedroom. ‘I’ve two hours. Let’s make the most of it.’

Frank undressed. He’d tell her later about the job.

When they were done, they lay next to each other on the bed. Eve rolled onto her side to face him. ‘That was just what I needed. You know when we were going together in Belfast, I used to fantasise about having sex with you. I knew you’d be good at it.’

He ran his fingers along the length of her body. ‘I used to do the same about you. Although I thought you’d be crap at it.’

She slapped him. ‘Cheeky fecker. Go on and make me another drink. And have you any nibbles? I’m starving.’

Frank went into the kitchen and made two more drinks. He found a large bag of peanuts in the cupboard, gripped it between his teeth, and picked up the drinks.

He reached the hall just as the front door opened. Ellen stood in the doorway and stared at him. He must have been some sight, stark naked, a big bag of nuts in his mouth and a drink in each hand. His teeth let go of the peanuts and they fell to the ground. She released her grip on the door. It clattered against the wall. Behind her, the door of the flat opposite opened. Their elderly neighbour came out, took one look at Frank’s tackle, and swiftly went back in again.

Ellen’s eyes flitted from one drink to the other, then to the bag of nuts at Frank’s feet. She closed the door, pushed past Frank, and marched into the bedroom.

Eve pulled the sheet up to her neck. Ellen snorted. ‘Don’t be so fucking ridiculous.’

‘Ellen.’ Frank was still in the hall. He’d imagined this scenario a number of times. Well, not this particular scenario, but something like it. In all his imaginings, he’d been the cool one taking control of the situation. He’d never been the naked eejit, tongue-tied and glued to the spot in his own hall, with a pair of redundant gin and tonics in his hands.

Ellen came up close to him. ‘You’ve dropped something, darling.’ She picked up the nuts and shoved them with such force at his dick that he could feel them crunching against his balls. Then she swung the door open again and walked out.

Frank put the drinks down and went to shut the door. The neighbour was treated to another glimpse of his private parts as she made a second attempt to leave home, unfettered by lewd images. He gave her an apologetic look. She returned it with a scowl and scurried off towards the lift.

‘Fuck. Are you all right?’ said Eve, still under the sheet.

‘Aye. I think perhaps–’

‘Yeah, you’re right. I should go. You don’t think she’ll do anything stupid, do you?’

‘I don’t know. I’ll see if I can find her.’

Eve was dressed and gone within minutes. Frank went to all the local places Ellen liked to go to but he couldn’t find her. He went back to the flat and called Gavin. If anyone knew where she might be, it would be him.

‘She’s here. Just a minute.’ Gavin went away for a few seconds. ‘Just closing the study door. Ellen’s in the sitting room, drowning her sorrows with Roger. I take it you didn’t follow my advice when she came back to you? Really, Frank. I’m rather surprised and more than a little disappointed in you.’

It was rather like being told off by a richer, better educated version of Ma. But Gavin wasn’t Ma and so Frank felt no inclination to take the telling. ‘Actually, I did follow your advice until life with your sister became intolerable again. I’m sorry for what Ellen saw, but our marriage was over some time ago. She knows I’m looking for a divorce. She must have told you that.’

‘No, she did not. Quite the contrary. Look, I think it’s best if she stays here for the time being. We’ll keep an eye on her. I’ll call you tomorrow.’

The next day was a pain in the arse. The worst pupils were worse than usual and even the better-behaved ones seemed to have made it their mission to wind Frank up. It was as if they knew he was leaving and were punishing him for it. It was a relief when the end of day bell went and he was left in the peace and quiet of the classroom.

It didn’t last long. A couple of the boys from his form pushed the door open. ‘Sir, you’d better come outside.’

Frank tutted and followed them out to the car park. ‘What is it now?’

‘That,’ said one of them, pointing towards what was left of his car. Every window and light had been smashed. There was a huge dent in the bonnet.

Frank’s first thought was that it was Ellen, but then he saw Billy coming his way, with a baseball bat. ‘You bastard. You think you can fuck my wife and get away with it?’ He was drunk, but that didn’t make him any less dangerous.

Frank turned to the kids, their safety his most immediate concern. ‘Boys, get inside the school. Go to the secretary’s office.’

The boys, hyped up on the excitement, stayed where they were.

‘I said inside. Now!’ That did it, they reluctantly slunk back into the building.

‘Oh you’re the big man, so. Shouting at kids. Let’s see how big you are now, Frankie Boy.’ Billy swung the bat straight at Frank. It hit him square in the stomach and he went down.

Winded, Frank sucked in air and tried to form some words: ‘If you’ve hurt Eve, I’ll–’

---