Page 77 of Calling Frank O'Hare

He was alone. Eve must have slipped out during the night and gone back to Billy. Another wave of guilt crashed over him. What the hell was he thinking, taking advantage of Billy’s generosity like that? He’d never be able to face him again. He got dressed and tiptoed out onto the landing. The main bedroom’s door was closed. He crept downstairs and stole out of the house like a thief, glad he didn’t have to face either Billy or Eve today.

Frank found the flat empty. On the way home, his guilt had expanded to include Ellen. For all their ups and downs, he was in no doubt that she loved him and he didn’t want to hurt her, but he’d made up his mind to go. Perhaps he didn’t need to worry about that if she’d left him again. She might have made it easy for him. He sank down onto the sofa and put his head in his hands. God, it was a mess.

When he caught sight of a note on the coffee table, he almost smiled at the futility of his strike for freedom. He couldn’t even leave his wife properly. That’s how shit he was. He wondered if this one would be longer than the last. Less, it’s not you it’s me and more, it’s definitely you this time. There was only one way to find out. He picked up the note and read it.

‘Daddy’s had a heart attack. Gavin’s taken me to the hospital. I’ll call you when I can.

I love you x.’

A heart attack? The Brigadier wasn’t indestructible then. The note suggested a fondness between Ellen and her parents, but she’d pulled up the drawbridge when they refused to attend the wedding and as far as Frank knew, she’d made no attempt to reconcile with them. And yet her words on paper told a different story. Then there were those three words solely for his benefit.‘I love you’.He despised himself all over again.

He checked the answerphone. Ellen had left a message that morning: ‘Hello darling. Sorry to have missed you. The doctors have stabilised Daddy but he’s still critical. I’m at the hospital. I’ll call again this evening.’

She sounded normal. As if they hadn’t had a row the night before that had resulted in him walking out on her. Perhaps someone else had been there. Her mother maybe. That would be it. Ellen wouldn’t have wanted her mother to know things were strained between them.

He went into the kitchen. The veggie chilli that had caused so much trouble was still in the pan on the hob, looking a bit dry around the edges but otherwise okay. It would do for tonight’s dinner. For now, he was desperate for coffee and a shower. He needed to wash all traces of Eve away.

It was late by the time Ellen called. She’d been at the hospital all day and had only just returned to her parents’ home. She sounded worn out. ‘He’s no longer officially critical but he’ll have to remain in hospital for some time. They’re saying he’ll need an operation. Daddy’s not too happy about it. You know what he’s like.’

No, Frank didn’t know what old man Montague was like. His only face-to-face experience of him had been that one cut-short visit. If that was anything to go by, then it was highly possible he’d be unhappy. Especially if any of the doctors were Johnny Foreigners. Not the Brigadier’s cup of tea at all. Even if it did mean they were saving his life.

‘I’ll have to stay here for a while. You don’t mind, do you darling?’ She was still pretending all was well with them. Sometimes Frank wondered if Ellen had this internal switch that enabled her to turn things on and off when it was convenient.

‘I don’t mind at all,’ he said, dutifully. ‘Do you need me to bring some clothes over?’

‘Would you? That would be awfully good of you. Thank you, darling.’

Frank was approaching the Montagues’ home in his car. He’d been married to Ellen for twelve years and this was only the second time he’d been here. If that didn’t tell him something, he didn’t know what did.

Ellen ran out and treated him to the kind of over-the-top greeting that usually followed one of her absences. She took his hand. ‘Come inside. Gavin’s here with Roger.’

Mrs Montague was also there. Her stony eyes did a quick and brutal assessment of him. Judging by the sour face, his best T-shirt and jeans were not deemed satisfactory attire. Roger the Lodger, who had the look of a toned down Andrew Ridgeley, had obviously nailed the off-duty but still classy look, since Mrs M was all over him. Frank wondered if she knew that he and Gavin were more than just friends. Even if Gavin was still maintaining the pretence, the Montagues must have guessed by now. Maybe Ellen wasn’t the only one with a convenient internal switch.

Gavin at least, was pleased to see him. ‘Will you stay for lunch, Frank?’

‘Thanks but I have to get back. I’ve a pile of marking to do.’

‘Frank’s a teacher, Mummy,’ said Ellen to a bewildered Mrs Montague. By the look of her, it was the first she’d heard of her son-in-law’s profession.

Ellen walked him out to the car, her arm in his. Once again he’d couldn’t escape the feeling that it was all for her mother’s benefit. When they reached the car, she turned to face him and held both his hands ‘I don’t know how long I’ll be away for. Will you be all right without me?’ It was quite endearing really, if you believed any of it.

‘Take as long as you like. I’ll be fine.’ He let her hands slip from his. ‘I’ll be here for you while you need it. But afterwards, I think we should call it a day.’

Her mouth parted slightly and her beautiful brow furrowed. Frank expected her to say something, maybe shout, or cry. But she just nodded and took a step backwards.

He got in the car. Through the rearview mirror he saw her standing, tall and magnificent, watching him drive all the way down the long driveway.

He went straight to Billy and Eve’s house. Eve had called him yesterday to arrange it. ‘We don’t need to worry about interruptions. Billy’s gone to New York for a couple of weeks,’ she’d said. It seemed their relationship was back on.

As soon as she shut the door on the outside world, Eve began to undress him. Frank pulled away. There was something he needed to say: ‘I’ve told Ellen I’ll support her while her dad’s ill but after that, it’s over.’

Eve frowned. ‘How did she take it?’

‘Very calmly. She might need time to process it.’

‘I bet she will. It’s probably the first time she won’t get her own way. What’ll you do? Where will you live?’

‘I dunno. I haven’t thought that far ahead. I thought maybe…’ He let it tail off, scared to put a voice to his hopes.

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