Page 72 of Calling Frank O'Hare

‘Do you think that’s possible?’

‘We have to make it possible. If it were just us, we could walk away and never see each other again, but we can’t. Not unless we want to tell Billy and Ellen, and I don’t think either of us is ready for that. We’re not kids anymore, Frank. We’ve got to be grown-up about this.’

She was right. They had no choice. ‘We’ll do it.’

‘Me and Billy. We’re not the same as you and Ellen.’

Maybe not in her eyes, but there wasn’t a lot of difference as far as Frank could see. If he’d told her that, she’d have flared up, so he tried another tack. ‘Back in the old days, I always thought you hated him. I’ve never understood why–’

‘Love, hate. It’s a fine line isn’t it? Billy gave me freedom. He still does.’

Freedom? Was that all it was? ‘I could have given you freedom.’

She smiled. ‘No, love, you couldn’t. You’re not like Billy. No one is. Your freedom is not the kind I need.’

‘Well, if it’s so great, how come you’ve been fucking me?’ There, he’d snapped. He didn’t mean to, but it had happened and all he could do now was wait for the shit to hit the fan.

But it didn’t. She just shrugged. ‘Because freedom can be lonely.’

She picked at the skin around her thumbnail. Frank noticed for the first time how sore it looked. He put his hand on hers to stop her making it worse. She looked up at him. ‘It would kill Billy if he found out about us.’

‘Ellen too.’ It sounded like a pathetic game of adulterers one-upmanship, who could hurt their spouse the most, and Frank immediately felt like a heel.

Eve pulled her hand away. ‘You have got to be kidding me? Sometimes Frank, you are one first-class idiot.’

Frank was waiting in arrivals for the flight from Paris, still wondering if he’d done the right thing. When he’d spoken to Ellen, it had all seemed so simple. He’d take her back, forget Eve, and make a fresh start. But seeing Eve again had sent his emotions all over the place. He didn’t know how to describe what he felt for her. He didn’t know if it was love. Not that it mattered, because it was clear she wasn’t ready to give Billy up.

And if he was unsure about Eve, he was even more so about Ellen. She’d left him. Unlike Billy, she wasn’t exactly an innocent party in all of this. But for all the havoc she wreaked, for all her haughty exterior, Ellen was fragile and he couldn’t bear the thought of damaging her.

The first passengers began to file out of arrivals. Frank felt a wave of nausea rush over him. He wanted to run away. And then she appeared, her tanned face framed in a pair of big dark glasses. She looked like a movie star shunning the paparazzi.

She threw herself at him, covering him in kisses. ‘Oh my darling, you came for me. I was sure you wouldn’t. I love you so much. I’m so sorry. So very sorry.’

She tipped back her glasses, her eyes searching him. He saw then how red they were and how breakable she was, and in that instant, he knew who needed him most. She’d once said he was the most decent person she knew. It was time to be that person again.

He put his arms around her. ‘Hello, my love.’

46

Shoulders to cry on

Because I’m not you.

Martin was gone. He’d stormed off into the mountains half an hour ago, but his words were still ringing in Frank’s ears. How was it that Martin, serial philanderer, got to act all holier than thou over Frank’s one indiscretion? Everyone knew he’d cheated on his first two wives. Not to mention the other business, which Frank refused to even think about right now. And didn’t he always want what Frank had? He wouldn’t put it past Martin, the cheating fecker, to jump into Eve’s bed as soon as he had the chance. And anyway, how did they know about him and Eve? Because it was plain to see, Finn knew as well.

‘Are you all right there, Frank?’ Finn had been watching him ever since Martin had left in a strop.

‘I’m good, Finn. Don’t you be worrying about me. While I’ve got you alone, Siobhan said she’d book the eejit’s plane ticket. She’s going to send it to both of us. And one other thing. I’ve realised I’m a bit out of shape. I’d like to change that. Do you think you could help me?’

‘No problem. I can put together a programme for you. We can have one to ones online to keep track. I’ve other clients I do that with.’

‘I’ll pay you the going rate, obviously.’

‘No way. I wouldn’t charge. It’ll be my pleasure to help you.’ Finn looked like it really would be a pleasure to help Frank. Beyond his wildest dreams in fact.

‘Don’t say anything to Martin though. He’ll only take the piss.’

‘You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to give Marty a chance, Frank. He’s not as bad as you think he is.’

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