Page 90 of Calling Frank O'Hare

‘Martin. Where is he?’

‘He should have been with you hours ago.’

‘I know that. We thought maybe he’d given us the slip at the airport and gone straight to see Bronagh, but he’s not there. We’ve looked all over the city for him. Are you absolutely sure he got on that plane.’

‘I watched him go. I…’ Frank ran his fingers through his hair. That sneaky bastard had done it again. ‘I didn’t see him go through the gate.’

‘You didn’t see him go through the gate.’ Frank could literally taste the disgust coming off of his sister right now.

‘I was reading your message.’

‘Well aren’t you just the prize eejit? Martin, the Scarlet fucking Pimpernel has done it again.’

Frank saw Netta slip the frilly panties back on and step into a clean pair of jeans. It seemed a second go was off the cards. ‘What do we do now?’

‘Find him,’ hissed Siobhan. ‘Find him now.’

59

Her off ‘The Exorcist’

Siobhan hung up. Stupid eejit. Stupid, fecking, useless eejit. Men! Hopeless the lot of them. Except for Da, obviously. He was the one shining light in a sea of useless feckers.

She called Cousin Finn. Maybe she’d have better luck with him, now that he’d gone sensible.

‘Siobhan. How’s it going?’

‘Very badly, Finn. Very badly indeed.’

‘Whatever’s the matter?’

‘Martin has not come home.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course I’m sure, and before you ask, he’s not with Bronagh, or Frank, and he can’t be found in the whole of Belfast. I take it he’s not with you either?’

‘He’s not. He promised us he’d go. Frank was going to stay with him till he got on the plane.’

Siobhan heaved a massive, overwhelming sigh. She could feel tears edging themselves out of every one of her facial orifices. ‘Frank might have said that, but he didn’t. He took his eye off the ball which, as we both know, is all Martin needs. Typical of that selfish pig not to keep to his word.’ She meant Martin, but the words could have equally applied to Frank.

‘You sound a little upset there, Siobhan. Can you try to breathe slowly?’

Breathe slowly? Fucking breathe slowly? She was lucky she could breathe at all, what with the snot and the tears. ‘Of course I’m upset. I’ve spent all week talking Bronagh round. All week assuring Ma that Martin’s third marriage was not about to end badly. All week trying to get hold of you bunch of fucking feckers while you’ve been swanning around, admiring scenery and having a full scale bromance. And what for, Finn? What for? Da hasn’t got a clue. Did you hear that Finn? Even Da doesn’t know what Martin’s up to. And Ma’s gone to church! She hasn’t been there in years. And look at the time, Finn. It’s six o’clock, and she’s at the church.’

‘She missing the news?’

‘Exactly.’

‘Okay. Siobhan, I know this is hard but it’s important to stay calm. Light a candle and relax.’

‘Light a fucking candle. Is that the best you can do, Finn? I’m about to explode here. I could probably light a candle with my own flames, the heat that’s coming off of me.’

‘I’m going to find him. I give you my word. Just try to stay calm.’

‘Well do it quick. And stop telling me to stay calm.’ Siobhan pressed the button. Cutting people off was surprisingly satisfying. She eyed the candle that was collecting dust on her shelf. Couldn’t do any harm she supposed.

After five minutes of sniffing the candle’s scent, she was no calmer. She tried Martin’s phone again, now that he’d apparently been reunited with it. Naturally, it went straight to voicemail. He hardly ever answered her calls at the best of times. ‘Where are you, you bastard?’ Jesus, she sounded like her off ‘The Exorcist’.

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