‘Does it?’

Netta laughed. ‘Frank, this is not a conversation to be having over the phone. Let’s keep it for another time.’

‘You’re right. I’ll let you go. I’d better call my sister before we head off. I love you, Netta Wilde.’

‘I love you too, Frank O’Hare.’

But did she though? After all, hadn’t she as good as said he was a boring git? Oh Jesus, he really needed to stop being so fecking insecure. He was a grown man, and Netta was not Ellen.

29

The imbecile and the Exocet missile

Siobhan had all but given up on Frank, so it was a bit of a shock when his call came through. She leapt on it before he changed his mind and rang off. ‘About time. I’ve been trying to get hold of you for days.’

‘Hello to you too, Siobhan,’ he said, sarcastic as ever. ‘I liked your message.’

‘Which one? The one about you taking the coward’s way out and leaving the update about your little trip with Da, or the one about you being useless?’

‘The one about the Blues Brothers. We all thought it was very witty.’

‘Was that a hint of sarcasm there, Francis?’

‘No. It was funny and very clever.’

Okay so that definitely was sarcasm. Siobhan closed her office door. ‘Where the feck are you?’

‘We’re in Fort William. My phone’s really crap. I’ve had a lot of trouble with the signal. Your messages only just came through.’

Just came through? She didn’t believe that for a minute. ‘Funny that you have to wait for my messages to pick up the phone. You couldn’t just think of giving me a call to set my mind at rest?’

‘You’re right. Sorry. But you’ve no need to worry. Martin’s fine. He’s in good spirits.’

‘I don’t give a flying feck about Martin. It’s Ma I care about. She gets herself into such a state with the worry.’

‘Oh. I didn’t know.’ Frank sounded surprised, like he genuinely didn’t know.

‘Of course you didn’t. How could you? How could any of you when you’re never around to deal with the fallout from your little escapades?’ Siobhan sighed. Sometimes it was like trying to get through to a simpleton when she spoke to Frank. For a clever man, he could be awful stupid. ‘I’ll tell her you’re okay.’

‘Thanks. By the way, Martin didn’t leave Bronagh. She threw him out.’

Well, this was news. Whether it was accurate news was yet to be established. ‘Did he tell you that?’

‘Yes. Have you spoken to Bronagh?’

‘Of course I’ve spoken to Bronagh. I’m everybody’s fecking shoulder to cry on.’

‘And she didn’t tell you that?’

‘No. I’ll speak to her again. But it’s not beyond that arsehole to lie.’

‘Bronagh?’

She tutted. ‘No. Martin. Jesus, you’re as bad as him. I’ll call you back. Keep checking in with me. Don’t cut me out, Frank. And don’t let Martin out of your sight until you’re sure he’s on the plane home.’

‘Okay. Are you all right, Siobhan? You sound a bit stressed.’

A bit stressed? A BIT STRESSED? He didn’t know the half of it. ‘A bit stressed doesn’t even touch the sides, Frank.’