Page 33 of Calling Frank O'Hare

Martin nodded. ‘Oh that’ll be it then, for sure. Nothing to do with the fact that you’re completely unfit.’

‘I am not completely unfit. I walk every day. I’m just…’

‘Old?’ said Martin.

Finn thrust a pack of sandwiches at Martin. ‘Enough now lads. Let’s have a nice civilised lunch and admire the scenery. Then we’ll walk a bit further, only if everyone’s up to it.’

They sat in silence eating their food, Frank quietly fuming. He was not old. He was … what? Comfortable sprang to mind, just like it had done when he was at home preparing for two weeks of painting and relaxation. Comfortable wasn’t such a bad thing. He was happy being comfortable. Although he probably did need to work on his fitness when he got home. Two things to do on his return. One. Buy a new phone. Two. Embark on a fitness programme.

‘If you can manage it, Frank, there’s a great view further round that way.’ Finn said it in the way you might cajole a small child into eating their greens. Frank was insulted all over again.

‘Of course I can manage it.’ He caught a flash of something from Martin. A look that said, ease off the wee fella, and he added humiliation to his current list of emotions. ‘I’d love to see the view. I’ll be fine.’

It was noticeable that Finn had slowed the pace down. Although Frank was glad of it, he was also more than a little indignant. Not so indignant that he wanted them to speed up though. Anger, humility, gladness and indignance. That was some range of emotions for a man who liked to keep things on an even keel. This trip was getting to him, just as he knew it would. Again, he thought about that day in 1980 when everything changed. The way Eve’s dad had looked at him, like he would have gunned him down without a thought. Frank had had nightmares about that look for years after. Not now though. In fact he hadn’t thought about it since Robyn, was born. If you didn’t count this week, that is.

The thing he hadn’t really thought about in any great detail was Eve’s reaction. ‘He’s no one.’ Sure, he’d heard her speak the words in those bad dreams, but they hadn’t been the focus of his fears. If he ever considered them, it was just to be thankful that she’d saved him. And when she didn’t turn up in Birmingham at the start of the first term, he’d just assumed her daddy had stopped her from coming to him. But what if she hadn’t said it just to save him? What if the other possibility was the real reason she didn’t turn up. What if she had really thought he was no one?

Frank had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realised they’d slowed down to a stop. Martin and Finn were gazing at a loch surrounded on nearly all sides by multi-coloured mountains. Thick green trees at their base gave way to patches of yellow-green and rust, themselves giving way to slate grey topped with dazzling white snow.

‘That is fucking amazing,’ said Martin.

‘It is,’ said Frank.

‘It was one of Orna’s favourite places.’ Finn stared straight ahead.

Frank knew that look. Finn was in a faraway place. A happier place. He put his arm around his cousin. ‘Thanks for sharing it with us.’

Finn pointed to a dark cloud sitting over the peak of the furthest mountain. ‘That’s coming our way. We should go back.’

They managed to cook up some dinner under the van’s awning before the rain started, and it was another hour or so before it began to trouble them enough to pack everything away. Finn produced some cards and they played gin rummy inside the van while hailstones thundered against the roof and sides. When they got bored with that, the newly replenished beer stocks came out and they argued their way through their all-time top-fifty singles. That brought them back to Belfast and Frank’s thoughts returned again to that day. ‘I’ve been thinking about that time Billy got picked up by the Balaclavas.’

‘Dark times, so they were,’ said Finn.

‘What in God’s name made you want to think about that?’ said Martin.

‘I dunno. It must be seeing you two again.’

Martin rolled his eyes. ‘I knew it’d be our fault.’

Frank ignored him. ‘Something’s just occurred to me. If we’d gone our usual route to the shop, we wouldn’t have seen them on that corner.’

Finn frowned. ‘I suppose so. It was lucky we did then, because Billy might not have gotten away with a beating if your da hadn’t been on the case.’

‘I guess so.’

Martin yawned. ‘Sounds like the rain’s stopped and I’m ready for bed. Are you coming sweet cheeks?’

Finn pulled back the side door. ‘Aye. Let’s go before it starts again.’

Frank was in the middle of getting undressed when the side door opened again and Martin’s face appeared around it. ‘Are you decent, dear? The tent’s too damp. We’re sleeping in here.’

Frank quickly pulled his pants on. ‘What, all three of us?’

‘Sorry, no choice. I’ll take the top bunk. You two can share the bed.’ Finn stepped in and raised the van’s roof. Sure enough there was another bed up there.

Frank sighed. Then he remembered Billy Mac telling him to embrace the danger for a change. It might not be Billy’s idea of danger but Billy wasn’t about to sleep with Martin Thunder Arse, was he? ‘Just don’t snore into my ear. And don’t get too close.’

Martin scratched his backside. ‘Frank, we’re two big fellas, sharing a bed in a campervan. Of course I’m gonna get too close.’

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