Page 111 of Calling Frank O'Hare

‘It’s all in hand, Ma, don’t worry.’

‘Right, so. Get your coat, Gerry. Netta’s taking us to meet her parents.’ She pointed a finger at Frank. ‘You stay here, and don’t let Martin out of your sight.’

Siobhan came round not long after they’d gone. She seemed a bit tetchy, but then didn’t she always? Except perhaps yesterday when Ma was letting rip. Gloating was what she was then.

Finn was already up when she got there. Martin came down shortly after. He took one look at her and snorted. ‘Come on now, Siobhan, crack your face why don’t yer.’

‘I’ll tell you what I’ll crack in a minute, your fucking skull,’ she hissed.

Martin put his hands up in front of him. ‘Whoa, what’s up with you, Little Miss Sunshine? I thought you’d be over the moon. You tracked me down. We all got a bollocking, and you’re the golden girl again.’

‘Golden girl? Golden girl, is it? You have no idea, do you? Do any of you wankers know what I have to put up with? No, you don’t. Because you’re in hiding.’ She pointed to Frank, and then to Finn. ‘You’re too busy lighting candles and telling people to be calm. And as for you.’ She jabbed Martin in the chest. ‘You’re too preoccupied with letting Eve Macintyre cry on your big gullible shoulder to notice your marriage going down the pan. Who do you think persuaded Bronagh to hear you out, huh? Who do you all think spends hours listening to Ma wailing and gnashing her teeth over youse lot and your oh so many misdemeanours? Shall I give you a clue? It’s me. Yep, little ould me, cleaning up after the lot of yer like a good little woman. Well who’s looking after me, eh? Not youse feckers, that’s for sure.’

Finn bravely opened his arms out to embrace her. ‘Steady on there, Siobhan.’

Siobhan held out her hand to stop him coming any closer. ‘Don’t Finn. I beg of you. Don’t tell me to breathe slowly. I know you mean well, but it’s a little grating, you know? I just need you all to step up to the plate. That’s all. Just behave like fucking adults.’ She put her hand on her forehead. ‘I’m away back to Netta’s. I get more sense out of those dogs than youse three put together.’

Frank, Martin and Finn watched Siobhan storm back through the garden and disappear into Netta’s. Martin let out a slow whistle. ‘Fuck. That was a moment. D’you think it’s the menopause?’

Frank and Finn did a joint sharp intake of breath. ‘You can’t be saying stuff like that. Not only is it patronising and misogynistic, it’s probably wildly inaccurate. Siobhan will be post-menopausal by now,’ said Finn.

‘Finn’s right. That was offensive,’ said Frank.

‘Was it?’ said Martin, looking genuinely perplexed.

Frank rolled his eyes. ‘Yes. Where have you been living, in a cave?’

Martin shrugged. ‘In that case, what was that all about?’

‘I think she’s just had enough.’ Frank suddenly remembered, he’d forgotten to ask Da what the special thing was that he did with Siobhan.

71

Eyes and ears

Siobhan shut Netta’s back door and turned the key. She had to get away before she let herself down and blubbed. She sank down onto the sofa. The little dog, Maud, jumped up on her lap and the bigger one, Betty, lay at her feet. She ran her hands along their backs and started to feel calmer.

It was Ma who’d set her off in a bad mood. Wasn’t it always? All Siobhan had asked was if she was happier now that things were sorted. Ma had given her a filthy look and said: ‘I’ll be happy when he’s back with Bronagh. We’ve had enough marital disasters in this family.’

It was the look that did it. The look that told Siobhan which marital disaster in particular Ma was referring to. Because yes, it always came back to her. Her brothers were useless shites in the marital area. Martin had his two horribly failed marriages and had very nearly screwed up his third. Frank and Ellen were a car crash from start to finish but somehow, her quiet little divorce was the one that always got Ma riled up. How was that? She’d given it her best shot, even though she’d known in the first year she’d made a dreadful mistake marrying Dermot. But she stuck it out. They’d raised a happy family and done all the right things. When the divorce came through, she and Dermot went out for a meal together and wished each other well. Ma should be proud of her.

Thank God, Netta had taken them to meet her parents before Ma said any more. They’d planned it last night when Siobhan told her she needed to talk to her brothers about doing more. Unfortunately, she’d lost it before she had a chance to sit down and talk to them in a reasonable adult way, thanks to Martin. She’d ended up looking and sounding like a crazy woman. No doubt they’d be laughing their heads off at her. Knowing Martin, he’d be blaming it on the menopause. Ignorant fecker.

She buried her head in Maud’s fur. It was a bit doggy but kind of nice. She should definitely get a dog. And she should apologise to Finn. He was a sweetheart. They didn’t deserve him for a cousin.

She didn’t realise Frank had come in until he was in the room. He sat next to her and put his arm around her. She couldn’t remember the last time he’d done that. If ever. He kissed her head. He’d definitely never done that. ‘I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible brother and son.’

She sniffed. ‘Yes you have.’

‘I’m going to be coming over more often.’

‘They’re so old, you know? And Ma never lets up.’ A big tear plopped onto Maud’s back. ‘She’s always going on about me divorcing Dermot. I’m sure she blames me for Martin running off.’

‘Sure, that’s not fair.’ Frank gave her another squeeze. It was oddly comforting.

‘You’re right, it isn’t. Da needs you, Frank. We all do. You’ve been away too long.’

‘I know. I’m listening. I’m so sorry. The others are too. They’re just too scared of you to come over and say it.’

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