Page 93 of The Guy Next Door

25

LEIF

“As the mediareported,” Detective Roth begins—

Zane asked me if I would stay at his place through her press conference the morning after we went to the police station, so we sit in bed with the omelets I fixed for breakfast.

Detective Roth stands at a podium with several uniformed officers and people in suits as she addresses the crowd of reporters. “…a body, later identified as Jason Kilbourne, was found yesterday around seven thirty a.m. on a property approximately five miles from the Wyachet Dam. When our team arrived on the scene, we discovered a body submerged in a creek with ropes and cinder blocks attached, clearly a deliberate attempt to conceal the body. That said, what was a missing-persons case has become a homicide investigation. Some of the inquiries I’ve received recently have pertained to who will oversee the case. After several internal meetings, it was agreed that homicide lieutenant Malcom Berkley and I will collaborate from this point forward. As some of you already know, I have experience in the homicide unit, and with our expertise, we hope our joint efforts will help us find justice for Jason Kilbourne and his family.”

“It’s all such bullshit,” Zane snaps at the TV.

He’s been pissed since talking to Roth. There’s been so much shit for him to process, I can’t imagine what’s going on in his head.

He fucking thought his brother’s body had been found. And though he was relieved that wasn’t the case, after his meetingwith Roth, he was on edge. And I’m on edge too. If he’s right about the connection between Jason, Mike, and me, and that the guy who was in my parents’ house is a serial killer, that could have been my fate too.

I remind myself we don’t know who was at the house that night, but it’s a thought I can’t help but entertain.

When Detective Roth finishes speaking, Detective Berkley takes to the podium, offering assurances about his new role on the case. Zane hangs on his every word.

“At this time,” Detective Berkley says, “given the condition of the body when it was discovered, forensics is continuing to search for viable DNA samples to help identify persons of interest, but it’s still early days on that front, and we are eager to provide the public with answers as they become available to us. If anyone has any information, please don’t hesitate to call the local department number…”

“Should I give them a call?” Zane huffs.

There’s humor in his tone, but pain too.

I set my hand on his thigh, rubbing gently. He places his on top of mine.

When the press conference comes to an end, we set our plates on the nightstand, and he curls up against me, nestling his face into my chest. I just hold my Zane, hating that I can’t do more.

“When I saw that article last night,” he says, “I really thought it had to be him. As excruciating as it was to believe, it was a relief to have an answer. And to know that meant he wasn’t suffering. But then when I found out that wasn’t the case, God, I felt so damn guilty. Like I was wishing my brother dead.”

It’s a haunting statement, a glimpse into another way Zane can turn the blame on himself for his brother’s disappearance.

“Please tell me you know that’s not what you were doing,” I say.

“Death just seems preferable to some of the other thoughts I have about what might have happened to Jason before his death.”

His arm tightens around me, and he pulls me close. There’s warmth against my chest, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s a tear.

Oh, my poor Zane.

I slide my hand over the back of his head, running my fingers through his soft hair.

“Why is the world so fucked up?” he asks.

“I don’t know, Zane.”

He offers a gentle peck against my chest.

His words make me think about his dark childhood. His and his brother’s lives. Everything he’s had to deal with around his mental health.

How much is a person supposed to bear in this life?

“What do you have going on today?” he asks.

“I need to get home and check on Kyra. And I was gonna take her to the animal rescue clinic. She’s still not even attempting to fly.”

“Maybe it’s too cold out. She doesn’t want you to set her loose so she can freeze to death.”

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