Page 33 of The Guy Next Door

LEIF: You watching? ;)

I gasp with relief. As I look up from my phone, he’s at the window, offering a gentle wave.

Instinctively, I raise my hand at my monitor, then feel like a fucking idiot.

“Isn’t that what we’ve been determining in this conversation? That we’re both a little fucked up?”

I smile at the thought. IfI’mmessed up for doing this, thenhedefinitely is for knowing all that he does and letting me continue.

“You intrigue me, Zane.”

I’m intrigued too. For obvious reasons. I don’t imagine Leif’s a stranger to some queer guy lusting over him. I tell myself it’shis abs and his beautiful face, but having chatted with him, I must admit it’s more than that now.

He’s charming and sensitive. God, what it did to me when he told me that shit about what he went through in college; the bravery it must’ve taken for him to share something so deeply personal. Not enough people understand what it’s like when a mind becomes its own enemy. Maybe that’s why he felt safe sharing it with me. It’s the only reason I was willing to give him my secrets. But that conversation has bound me to him even more than I already was. Given me a new determination to protect him.

ME: Of course.

ME: You already know I find you attractive. This feels like a cruel tease.

I regret the moment I hit Send, but damned if it isn’t true.

LEIF: I thought you said VERY attractive. Have I already been demoted?

My cheeks are hot as I study his image on my monitor, trying to read his expression.

ME: No, you haven’t been demoted.

God, why am I fucking answering like this? Even more importantly, why ishetextingmelike this? But I have bigger concerns.

ME: But someone else could be watching.

ME: Close the blinds.

A selfish part of me doesn’t want him to, while the protective part wants to head over and close them myself. But if I were inhis bedroom right now, with him in only sweats, fuck, he’d really think I was a creeper.

My phone buzzes again.

LEIF: Just thought you might enjoy the view. ;)

I lick my lips, like the creeper I fucking am.

LEIF: Night. x

ME: Good night, Leif.

As he closes his blinds, I’m relieved no one else can watch him but devastated that I can’t either.

Too quickly, my memory of that body fades, and my creeper instincts kick in.

The surveillance images are pulled up on my right-hand monitor, so I open another screen on the left. I scroll back through the footage that’s downloaded to my hard drive and grab the little-over-a-minute of footage of him at the window, waving. I upload the footage into another app and play it on a loop.

Biting my bottom lip, my hand gravitates under my boxers, stroking.

My eyes are fixed on his expression. Why did he fucking tease me like this, knowing I’m gay, knowing I’m lusting after him?

Maybe he’s like Tau’s friend, a straight guy wanting to soak up all my attention because he doesn’t get it in other parts of his life.

To think of how much hell I used to give Tau, but now I fucking get it.

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