Page 54 of Filthy Little Secret

“Tim, please,” I say. “If this is some sort of game...I can’t handle it.”

Tim’s eyes are filled with concern. It’s time for me to be honest with him. It’s the only chance I have of protecting my heart. The only chance that maybe he’ll see he shouldn’t hurt me if that’s what he’s trying to do.

“When I was fifteen, I had a breakdown when my sister passed away. The day it happened, I went into her room and curled into a ball in the corner. I wouldn’t eat. Didn’t talk to anyone. My father gave me meds to keep me fucking sane. Or at least sedated and harmless. Until I could recover from what happened.

“Greg hurt me a lot, but because he made me feel like I was an idiot. I liked Greg, but that was it. I thought he was hot. We had decent sex. Not the kind of sex we have, but it was good for being new to it. When we broke up, I knew I could keep going. I don’t know that I can do that if I keep going like this with you. I’m worried I might lose my mind.”

He just gazes at me. I wish he’d say something, even if it’s a rejection. Even if it’s to tell me that I’ve taken this too far, and he needs out.

“I know this is a lot more than you bargained for,” I say. “But it’s gotten to the point where I think we either do something about this or I need to get out. I started seeing you because I was sure you couldn’t hurt me, but now…that’s not true, and I’m scared.”

“I won’t hurt you, Mark.”

He sets his hand on my face and strokes his thumb across my cheek. It brings me so much ease.

As I look into his eyes, I believe him, but am I just kidding myself like I did with Greg?

I hope not, because I’m not sure I can take it.

And from what I know of Tim now, I don’t imagine he could ever do that to me, but what if I’m wrong?

What if it it’s all a game to him?

“I like you,” Tim says. “A lot. So fucking much it scares me. I know I talked a big talk when we started all this, but I don’t want any more boundaries. I don’t want to keep you at a distance. I want you in my life. I want to be with just you. No other guys. For either of us.”

I wonder if he’s going to say it, but then he says, “Mark, I want you to be my boyfriend.”

And I can’t help but smile. Because it means he’s serious and that this has all meant more to him than anything he did with Keith.

“I want you to be my boyfriend, too,” I confess.

He smiles before kissing me. He wraps his arms under my neck and thrusts his hip against my leg.

His hard-on beneath the jeans he still wears rubs against me. I reach down and unbutton his pants. I reach under his boxer briefs and grab his girth, stroking up and down to satisfy his needs.

He rises onto his knees, takes off his jacket, and tosses it aside. As he removes his shirt, I start to remove mine, but it gets caught halfway up my body. He assists me, and we throw it aside.

He has a smile on his face, and I can’t help but chuckle at my clumsiness.

He kisses me again, and we continue undressing. We work our way up slowly tonight. Like we have all the time in the world.

Soon, after suiting and lubing up, he’s pushing into me with his dick. So hard.

Like even in the heat of our most passionate moments, he’s always been taking care of me.

I throw my hands over my head to let him know I’m all his.

He grins as he gazes across my body, as though he’s appreciating my muscles. I like knowing they’re his to appreciate.

He rubs his hand across my torso.

Then he leans down and presses his body against mine once again, his face right before mine as he looks into my eyes.

I lower a hand and rest it on his thick bicep.

I don’t want this moment to escape me. Even if something happens, and it has to come to an end, I want to remember I had Tim right now, as more than a good lay.

Something special. Something emotional.

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