Page 23 of Filthy Little Secret

And why should I tell him? There isn’t really anything going on between me and Tim. We hooked up, but they aren’t going out, and I didn’t fuck him because I liked him. I fucked him because it felt good.

So fucking good.

“Ok, cool,” Keith says. “So how’s the fam doing?”

“Mom keeps calling, but I haven’t talked to her. Been too busy with work and school.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have taken on that job. You know your mom would have paid for your place.”

I glare at him. “Really? And have her rub that in my face? No. I got here on my own scholarship, and I pay for my own place. I don’t need Mom’s money to survive, and she needs to know that. Trust me, if she was paying for all this, she’d be even more annoying than she already is, and I’d feel even more like I need to show up to every press conference and every charity benefit she signs up for.”

“Just saying that waiting tables at a barbeque grill can’t be the most fun way of spending your free time.”

“What would be a better use of my time? Doing blow and K with your buddies?”

He shrugs, wearing a cocky smirk like he thinks that would be more fun.

I roll my eyes.

“So where are you getting this shit now that you can’t use Tim anymore?” I ask.

“Tim agreed to exchange shit with Jared so things wouldn’t be awkward.”

“And…?” I ask.

“I’m better.”

But considering the conversation we just had and the sad expression on his face, I know that isn’t true.

“No, really,” he says, obviously sensing my disbelief. “It’s taken some time, but at least I can stand to see him when I pass him in the hall. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to see him around on campus, but it’s getting easier. I just kind of take deep breaths. Like I did when he was at that party last night.”

My phone pings.

“Oh, must be mommy dearest calling to check in on you?”

I pull it out and see Tim’s name on the screen. I got his number so we could coordinate him getting his clothes from me.

“What’d she say?” Keith asks.

“Just about this fundraiser shit we’re going to next week.”

I don’t like lying to my friend, but he’d be weird about this. Plus, I can’t say we’re the best of buds since he’s still hanging out with Greg after what happened the other week. I know it’s a lot to expect him to choose sides, but it still irritates the shit out of me.

We catch up some more, talking about classes and gossip that’s circulating through a few of our mutual friends before I let him know I need to head out to catch up on my homework. That’s not the reason, though. It’s that Tim texted to let me know he wants to swing by to pick up his clothes.

I tidy up and take care of a little personal hygiene in case inspiration has its way with us, and Tim has his way with me.

While I was preparing for him to come over, I made sure the condoms were conveniently placed in the nightstand of my bedroom and checked to ensure there was enough lube.

I don’t know why I’m so obsessed with having sex with him again.

He won’t want to.

I keep reminding myself I’ve blown whatever chance we had to be a regular hookup the moment I acted like a clumsy fuck around him and vomited all over his clothes. But I still want it again.

Now I understand how Keith got into trouble. Fucking Tim is like escaping all worries and troubles and being totally wrapped up in him and his passion. Although, I can’t imagine why Keith fell for him. Nice as Tim was to me when he helped me get away from that party, I’m not even remotely confused about the kind of guy he is…and that there’s no chance of any sort of relationship forming. I can’t understand how other guys don’t get that about him.

It’s clear he can’t do relationships. And equally important, that he’d be a shitty boyfriend.

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