Page 56 of Filthy Little Secret

I’ve allowed myself to open up, but a part of me is still terrified that it has to end. And I’m constantly reminded of that fear by the fact that we can’t be out to the rest of the world. That despite how we feel, we’re still each other’s dirty little secrets.

“It wouldn’t be a crime if you swung by the party this weekend after your runs,” I say.

It’s at my pal Brody’s, and it’ll be the first big event I have time for since we became official.

“No one will care if we hung out a little.”

His expression turns serious, and he shakes his head.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. This isn’t just about you getting a bad reputation, but your mom. Can you imagine what she’d say if this got around to her?”

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I’ve always had to live my life in her shadow. Making decisions based on the decisions she made. Doesn’t seem fair.”

He glances around. “And here I am living a crappy life because of the decisions my parents made.”

“Parents suck.”

Tim kisses me and then breaks it to say, “No. I can’t be around you at that party.”

“Why?”

“Because I won’t be able to keep my hands off you.”

As he says that, he moves his hands across my back, down to my ass.

He gropes and fondles.

“We have to come out someday,” I tell him.

“When I get out of this line of work.”

“Oh, and when will that be?”

“I don’t know. We got a lot of bills, and I keep thinking that if I just get ahead of some of them, then I can drop this, but we’ve never stopped playing catch-up. Wish we could just say fuck it and get out of here. Go to some island where no one can ever find us. No one can ever make me get out of your ass.”

I chuckle.

“And what about Kitty? And my family?”

I didn’t mean to ruin his fantasy. Just felt like a joke, but as I see his eyes dull, I can tell I’ve upset him by reminding him that we have our lives to get back to.

“Being with you is the only time I can escape all that bullshit,” he says.

“I feel that way with you, too.”

He pulls me closer to him, not kissing me. Just gazing into my eyes.

I’m happy to stand like this, letting the water run across our bodies.

I don’t want to leave this moment. I want to cherish it.

When we finally pull ourselves from our pleasure, we head to the kitchen to have some breakfast with Nanna.

Tim makes us omelets while Kitty goes through the mail—a stack in front of her.

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