Page 47 of Obsessed

"This isn't a joke, Navi." The weight of the gun against my hip feels heavier than usual. "I need to figure out what matters more - the cargo or her."

"The fact that you're even considering that question shows how far gone you are. The Davrik I knew three months ago wouldn't have hesitated."

"The Davrik you knew three months ago hadn't met Alice." I start pacing, my boots crushing the vegetation beneath. "Hadn't seen someone so passionate about making the universe better instead of just profiting from it."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

I stop pacing and stare in the direction of the research station. "I don't know. For the first time in my life, I honestly don't know."

I slump against a tree, sliding down until I hit the ground. The jungle's constant buzz of life feels like it's mocking me.

"You know what the worst part is, Navi? I'm actually good at what I do. The best."

"Was that ever in question? Your success rate is ninety-eight point seven percent."

"And what's that worth now?" My fingers trace patterns in the dirt. "All those credits sitting in accounts across the galaxy, and I've never once thought about what I was really doing with my life."

"Oh no. You're having an existential crisis. Should I play some sad music?"

"I'm serious." I pick up a fallen leaf, examining its intricate patterns. "Alice spends her days trying to help people. Making actual differences in the universe. And what do I do? Help the worst of society get worse."

"You help them get richer, technically."

"Same thing." The leaf crumbles in my grip. "You know what she said to me last week? She talked about how this plant she found could help millions of people with chronic conditions. Millions, Navi. And I just sat there thinking about my next big score."

"The Davrik I know doesn't turn down good money."

"Maybe he should." I stand up, brushing off my pants. "Maybe it's time the Davrik you know changed."

"Because of a woman?"

"Because of my mate." The word feels right on my tongue. "Because for the first time in my life, I want to be someone worth loving."

"That's disgustingly romantic." Navi's tone softens. "But what about Freynal? He's not exactly known for accepting resignations."

"I'll figure something out. I have to." My hand rests on the gun at my hip. "Because I can't lose her, Navi. And I can't keep being this person anymore."

The jungle's constant symphony fades into background noise as I make my way back to the station. Each step feels lighter, despite the weight of what I'm about to do.

"You know," Navi pipes up from my pocket, "there are easier ways to have a mid-life crisis. Buy a fancy ship. Get some modifications. Date someone inappropriate- oh wait, you've already done that last one."

"She's not inappropriate. She's mine" I duck under a low-hanging branch. "And this isn't a crisis. It's clarity."

"Clarity that's going to get you killed when Freynal finds out."

"Maybe." I pause to check my bearings. "But I'd rather die trying to be better than live knowing I could have changed and didn't."

"And what will you do after getting out of this predicament with Freynal? Assuming you survive?"

The question stops me in my tracks. What would I do? All I've ever known is moving cargo and staying one step ahead of the law.

"I don't know," I admit. "But whatever it is, I want to do it with her. Maybe... maybe I could help her. Use what I know about staying under the radar to protect people like her instead of criminals."

"Now that," Navi says, "actually sounds like a plan."

The station's entrance looms ahead. Through the window, I can see Alice moving around inside, probably working despite everything that's happened. My heart speeds up.

"Here goes nothing," I mutter, reaching for the door.

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