Page 36 of Alien Barbarian's Little Human

“Is this how you’re going to address the Ishani ambassador?”

She purses her lips in thought, then shakes her head.

“Probably not. I’ll probably be a lot more, um, diplomatic. But I’ll still bring it up, I guarantee you that.”

“You think you’ll be able to handle the ambassador?” I ask, trying to contain my mirth.

“Oh, honey, I’m going to handle him all right. I know all about who to stroke and for how long. Give me an hour and that ambassador will be eating out of my hand.”

My laughter makes her frown.

“Why is this so funny to you? Never mind. Are you going to turn this jalshagar thing off or what?”

“As I said, that is impossible.”

She sighs.

“All right, fine. Then we should probably get this over with.”

She looks around my office, and then starts clearing the desk.

“What are you doing?”

“This jalshahagar thing, it’s got to be some kind of biological imperative. A survival of the species kind of deal. So if we take care of the biological aspect, I should be able to concentrate on my meeting with the ambassador.”

My heart jumps in my chest.

“You are suggesting that we…?”

“Yeah, you do have sex on this planet, don’t you? Hurry up, we have to do this before the ambassador gets here.”

“Alas, that is impossible. The Ambassador is already here.”

She stops clearing the desk, holding a tiny computer in the palm of her hand. Her blue eyed gaze raises to meet my own.

“You’re the ambassador?”

I nod.

“Oh fuck me, this is embarrasing.”

She tosses the sculpture back onto my desk and rises to her feet.

“All right, it also simplifies things, though. You need to sign this pact with the IHC, or the instability here is only going to get worse.”

“I disagree. If we sign that pact, we will increase the instability. You saw what it was like on your arrival.”

“Look, you’re going to have to pick one side or the other. The Coalition or the Alliance. It’s just the way it is.”

“I disagree. We can forge a path to peace by remaining neutral.”

She shakes her head with vehemence.

“Not a chance. The war is already here. You’re just too blinded by your own hubris to see it.”

“Hubris? Is it hubris to believe that our culture, our ways can help bring the galaxy to a more mature understanding?”

“Maybe,” she says without missing a beat.

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