Page 89 of The Christmas You Crash

Lexi hasn’t spoken too much about her mom. I get the sense that they’ve always been relatively close, but her mom’s relationship with this new guy seems to have thrown Lexi for a loop. Which I can understand. At the same time—having lost both of my parents—I’d give anything to have my mom show up unannounced at my place.

“How’d it go?”

My girl stares at me through the phone for a moment. A complex cocktail of emotions plays across her features. They’re there and gone in an instant. “I told her about you. About us.”

It’s so hard to keep my face blank. It really is. She told her mom about me? That’s good, right? That has to be a good sign.

Except, Lexi looks stressed. So maybe it’s not.

“And how did that go?” I ask her carefully.

“She was…” Lexi’s gaze dart to the side. As though she’s searching for the right word, and she’ll find it floating in the air beside her. “She’s not a huge fan of hockey players.”

Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me. It sucks, but it doesn’t surprise me. Of course, Coach’s ex-wife feels the same sort of hesitation surrounding my sport that his daughter does. Hell, it’s likely she has even stronger negative feelings about it. It’s not ideal. Coach will probably kick my ass when he finds out I’m dating his daughter. In a perfect world, I’d at least have thesupport of my girlfriend’s mom. I’ll just have to do my best to win her over.

“I told her you’re a great guy. She thought it was sweet that you woke up early on Christmas morning to decorate the cabin.” Lexi worries at her lower lip with her teeth. “She just doesn’t want to see me hurt.”

Understandable. “I wish I could promise that I’ll never hurt you,” I say solemnly. “But no relationship is perfect or painless. I’ll screw up at some point. It’s inevitable. But I can promise I’ll do my best to be the man you need. I promise I’ll be there for you. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you or let you down.”

“I know,” she whispers. She’s solemn. Serious. “I don’t want to hurt you or let you down, either.” Lexi pauses just long enough to tug her comforter up around her. “My mom doesn’t talk much about what it was like being married to my dad. I think she doesn’t want to pit me against him or anything, you know?”

I nod.

“But she said some things today that made me realize she was probably much lonelier than I ever realized. And that she felt my dad’s neglect well before it ever hit me that he wasn’t there most of the time. It’s difficult to look past your own personal experiences in a situation like that.”

“Don’t worry, OTG. I get that.” And I do. I don’t love it, but I get it.

“You broke past my preconceptions, though.” The furrow between Lexi’s brown eyebrows smooths out. “I’m sure you’ll be able to do the same thing with my mom.”

I really hope I can. Some part of me—the orphaned part—always dreamed that when I found the right woman, her parents would love me too. And I am really starting to believe that Lexi is the right woman. It’s probably too soon to be thinking that way, but right now, when she’s thousands of miles away, it’sbecoming painfully clear that she’s already begun to feel likehome.

Nowhere has felt like home since my dad died.

The closest I’ve come is being on the ice with the Rogues, but that’s not the same as having a place of rest to call my own. Home sure as hell isn’t the apartment I share with my teammate, Aaron. He’s a great guy and a solid roommate, but he’s got his own friends and family. When I first moved in with him, I had this idealistic fantasy that we’d become best friends and do everything together. But that hasn’t come to pass, and it never will. Some of the more senior guys on the team have taken me under their wing, and they’re including me more as the season goes on. Still, it’s not quite what I’ve been searching for, even though it comes close.

But Lexi. Something about Lexi feels so familiar. She calls to me. Like her soul holds a missing piece of my own, and the restless, searching thing inside my chest settles in her presence. It’s so much more than physical attraction. And yeah, Lexi’s beautiful. I’m constantly hard around her. When she welcomes me into her body, it’s practically a spiritual experience. And yet, even if something happened and I could never touch her or taste her again, I would still choose to be with her. Because I’m pretty sure she’s it for me. She’s my person.

So, I want her mom to love me. I want Coach to accept our relationship and support it. The idea of having parents in my life again—even though no one could ever replace my own—is something I long for. Probably more than even I realize. Maybe that’s not in the cards with Lexi’s parents.

But I’m willing to work for it. Especially since I know how painful it is to lose your parents, and I don’t want that for Lexi.

My beautiful girlfriend’s lips twist with worry and nerves. “Think you’d be up for having dinner with my mom and Jeff when you’re back home?”

I don’t even hesitate.

“Of course, OTG. I can’t wait to meet them.”

forty-two

RYDER

Lexi’s mom hates me.

It doesn’t matter that I brought her flowers and a bottle of wine, or that Lexi clings to my hand like I’m her lifeline. No matter how many times I make her daughter laugh, the tight scowl is ever present when I catch her looking my way. She hates me on principle and has since the moment I walked into her home.

I stupidly thought I could win her over with some smiles, my best manners, and by treating her daughter like a queen.

I was wrong.

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