“I can’t keep my hands off you, OTG.”

Three.

My thumb brushes the side of her breast, and Lexi shivers.

Two.

She presses her hips into mine, and I groan.

One.

I cup her face, completely enraptured by her.

Happy New Year!

Leaning down, I take Lexi’s plush lips in a slow, sensual kiss that leaves her breathless. Her mouth chases after mine when I pull just far enough away to whisper in her ear. “Happy New Year, Alexis Cross. I can’t wait to see what this year brings.”

thirty-four

LEXI

“Did you have fun tonight?”Ryder wraps his arms around me in the middle of his massive king-size bed. It’s two in the morning by the time we get to his place, and despite his promise to ravage me as soon as we arrived, we’re both way too tired. He gives me a quick tour of the apartment he shares with his teammate, and I’m barely awake enough to snoop. It’s decently sized, but nothing as extravagant as Maddox’s place. From the little I was awake enough to see, it’s the epitome of a bachelor pad.

There are jerseys and team flags on the wall instead of artwork, a massive television with two different gaming systems, and the whole place is fairly monochromatic. Outside of the jerseys, they’ve decorated everything in varying shades of gray. Ryder’s bedroom is much the same, although he has a golden-yellow comforter that reminds me of the gold and gray combination that makes up the Rogues’ team colors.

The one thing I do notice is a few framed photos on his dresser. One features a man and a woman with smiling faces hugging an adorable dark-haired toddler. It must be Ryder’smom and dad and a stupidly cute, young Ryder. The other photo is of a teenage Ryder with the same man, only older. His dad. The older man has his arm thrown around Ryder’s shoulder. It must have been taken at the end of a game, because Ryder is in full uniform. His dark hair is sweaty and plastered to his face, and a faint bruise shadows his jaw. But they’re both smiling widely. It’s infectious. My heart pangs for Ryder’s loss. And there may be a secondary pang for teenage Lexi, who has no such photos with her dad looking proud and fatherly.

We brush our teeth and fall right into bed. He’s cute as hell when he yawns.

“I did have fun,” I say with a sigh as I nestle into his arms and rest my head on his chest. More than I was expecting, if I’m being honest. Ryder’s teammates were all hilarious and welcoming, and they surprised the heck out of me by agreeing to keep our secret so easily. They even looked pissed off on my behalf when I explained some of my dad’s disinterest. Which is a new sensation. To have people other than Rachel in my corner. It’s nice.

“I didn’t know Graves invited your dad. I wouldn’t have suggested we go if I knew.” Ryder plays with my hair as he speaks. His long fingers massage my scalp and glide through the curls. He presses a kiss to my forehead, eliciting a happy sigh from me.

“Don’t worry,” I reassure him. “I know.” We both fall silent, and my thoughts turn to my dad. I don’t exactly invite him into my life anymore, but there’s a reason for that. I’ve been burned too many times. Waited for him with my eyes on the audience, only to have his seat remain empty too many times. I’ve cried tears he didn’t deserve more times than I can count. Didn’t someone say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Well, maybeI expected my dad to show up when I was a kid, but I sure as hell don’t anymore.

Yet, there he was, tonight.Stopping byone of his player’s houses on the way to his plans just because Maddox asked.

God, that stings more than it should.

Ryder’s fingers stroke along my collarbone. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” I lie. “I’m good.”

Fake it ’til you make it. Lie it until you buy it. That’s more accurate. Because I’m not just lying to Ryder, I’m lying to myself. I’m good. Or I will be. I don’t care that my dad seems to care about everyone else more than he cares about me. Or I won’t care, eventually.

“I’m going to go on record and say that I don’t believe you,” Ryder says softly. “But I get it, so I’ll let it slide.”

I muffle my chuckle against the naked expanse of his chest. “How magnanimous of you.”

“I thought so,” he says. The gentle stroke of his fingers down my arm is so comforting, my eyes start to close until Ryder speaks again. “Spend the day with me tomorrow? We can go out for breakfast, then do whatever you want.”

I like the idea of going out for breakfast. It’s so normal. So mundane. I want those moments with him.

“Sure. That sounds fun.” I yawn, and Ryder chuckles.

He pulls the covers up to my chin. “Go to sleep, baby. Sweet Dreams.”

It's illogical,but I feel like everyone is staring at us.