Ryder inhales slowly, still watching me intently. Still waiting to see if I’ll bolt.
And I probably should. It would be the smart thing to do. Because there’s no world where this ends in anything but heartbreak for me. And yet, I find myself wanting all those things too. At least, for as long as they last.
All I can think to say is, “You want to date me?”
“Yeah, Oscar,” he says with a laugh. “I want to date you. I want to date you so hard.”
Grinning like an idiot, I press my face into his neck. I don’t know what to say. And I’m feeling all the things right now. I need a second to collect myself. When I don’t immediately say anything, he continues.
“And I know this is terrible timing because the season is underway, and I’ll be on the road a lot, and that’s not exactly ideal for dating, but with my injury, I’ll be out for another couple of weeks. It’ll give us some time to spend together and see where this goes before I have to travel with the rest of the team. It will probably be complicated, trying to schedule things around my work schedule and your classes. But I’m willing to try, if you are.”
He’s so earnest. So hopeful. He’s not wrong about our schedules being a hurdle, but I’m used to hockey schedules. I grew up working around my dad’s. I know better than most what I’d be getting into. It should be a deterrent. I always hated how much my dad was gone during the season. But I suspect Ryder would put in the effort my dad couldn’t—wouldn’t. He’d make time for me.
Do I want him to?
Shit.Yes, of course, I want him to.
“I’m willing,” I say, with my face still pressed against his neck. The words come out muffled.
“Say that again?”
Pulling away from him, I meet Ryder’s gaze. “I said, I’m willing to try. I... Well, I’ve been trying to come up with reasons I shouldn’t date you almost since the first moment we met, but none of them seem all that valid at this point.”
His cheeks are tight from how broadly he smiles at me. “Oh, yeah? And why’s that, OTG?”
“Well,” I say, blowing out a breath. “For starters, you’re not a serial killer, so my initial reason isn’t valid.”
He barks out a laugh.
“You’re not some self-centered athlete who thinks the world should revolve around him. And you’re definitely not trying to get in with my dad, because it seems you’re already more in than I am.”
Ryder frowns at that, but I make a silly face to let him know I’m only teasing. Mostly.
“But really, I’m just not done spending time with you. I don’t want to be. But I don’t think it would be wise to show up to your games in your jersey. If we do this, it has to be a secret.”
I can tell he doesn’t like that idea, but he keeps his mouth shut about it. And I love that he doesn’t like the idea of keeping our relationship secret. It means he’s not ashamed of me orunsure of me. But I’m not ready to deal with my dad and whatever backlash may come from dating someone on his team.
Besides, if we’re going to give dating a try, I want to enjoy the rush of a new relationship without all the pressure that comes along with the weight of others’ opinions and expectations. I want to focus on us and what we want. At least, for a time.
Ryder’s eyes narrow as he considers it.
“Please, Ryder.”
His dark hair bounces as he slowly nods. “All right, Lexi. We’ll do it your way for now. But you should know, I won’t hide you forever.”
And just like that, we step off the edge of a cliff, hurtling toward unknown waters.
twenty-eight
RYDER
It’s a Christmas miracle.Somehow, Lexi Cross has agreed to date me. Do I love that she wants to keep it a secret? No. Am I going to let that stop me from winning her over completely and making her mine? Also no. I spent the first few hours with her in my arms last night brainstorming dates she might like to go on once we get out of here.
I’m tempted to bring up New Year’s Eve and the invitation from Maddox to hang out with the guys, but I know it’s too soon. I still have a few more days to convince her that none of them will tell Coach Cross anything if we ask them not to. Hell, I’m not sure any of them even know Lexi’s name—let alone what she looks like—so it’s possible we could go to the party and never have to reveal who she is.
But all of this is a problem for future Ryder. Right now, I want to enjoy skinny-dipping in this hot tub with the most beautiful woman in the world and savor the quiet laziness that always accompanies the day after Christmas.
While we soak, I ask her about college and her best friends. She tells me about how she misses a lot of things about going toschool in Chicago but that Minnesota is her home. She laments how infrequently she and her best friends see each other, despite only being eight hours apart. And she tells me how freeing it was to live in a city where her dad wasn’t a household name, and how much she’d needed space from her parents to figure out who she was and what she wanted in life.