Page 32 of The Christmas You Crash

I hate the way Ryder’s eyes grow unfocused. Like he’s losing himself in the memories, and they aren’t all good ones. So, I suck in a deep breath, grab his hand, and quietly ask, “What were your favorite Christmas traditions with her?”

His eyes meet mine, and for a moment, I don’t see the big, sweet hockey player who’s confident and capable. I see a little boy who lost his mom too young. A little boy who still misses her, even after all these years. “We’d watchIt’s a Wonderful Lifeevery Christmas Eve night. She’d make us these fancy appetizers, and the three of us would snuggle up on the couch while we ate and watched. I’d lay my head in her lap, and she’d run her fingers through my hair until I fell asleep. Then she’d carry me to my room, tuck me in, kiss my forehead, and tell me I was the best gift of all.”

Oh, my heart.

“She sounds lovely,” I murmur.

His smile is melancholic. “She was. I miss her.”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry she’s gone.” I squeeze Ryder’s hand. I want to wrap him in a hug. I want to run my fingers through his hair the way his mom did to comfort him.

He squeezes my fingers back. “Thanks, Lex.” Ryder searches my face before he says, “I know this Christmas Eve isn’t exactly what either of us were expecting, but I’m glad I’m spending it with you. Despite the cold and everything else, this has been kind of perfect.”

My chest warms. “Yeah, I mean, once I realized you weren’t going to murder me, I’ve had fun too. More fun than the last couple of Christmases.”

Tension crackles in the air between us as we stare at each other. When was the last time I’ve been this vulnerable with a man? Or felt so drawn to someone else? I don’t even realize itat first, but we’re drifting together. Our faces are so much closer than they were moments ago. He’s going to kiss me. Or I’m going to kiss him. Either way, after the things we just shared, I’m not as convinced as I was last night that I need to stay far away from Ryder. My body heats with remembrance of the way he made me come from riding his leg. My lips tingle as I recall the way he claimed them outside the day before. Why did I pull away from him last night, again?

I want to kiss him. I want to do far more than just kiss him. I’ll deal with the consequences later.

His lips mere centimeters from mine, Ryder cups my jaw. “Lexi…” He breathes out my name like a prayer.

Tilting my head, I lick my lips. “Ryder…”

Something beeps in the house, followed by another beep, and then all the lights roar back to life. The television lights up, the landing page for the holiday murder series we’d been watching the night the power went out filling the screen. The house gives a shudder and a groan as the heat kicks on. But I don’t care about any of that. I don’t care, because Ryder’s lips are so close to mine.

His eyes flash with some unreadable emotion before he presses his forehead to mine and sighs deeply. He pulls back, kisses the spot his forehead just touched, and sits up straight. “How ’bout I make us some coffee? Warm us up while the heat does its thing?”

My fingers flutter to my lips. Lips which are not kissing Ryder Hanson. With a little effort, I’m able to curve them into some semblance of a smile. “Sure. That sounds great.”

sixteen

LEXI

God,this is the best shower I’ve ever taken. It won’t last as long as I’d like, because I have to save some hot water for Ryder, but I’ve never enjoyed anything more. Well, except maybe the way Ryder’s body felt against mine. And his lips.

Gah. I’m so wound up from the last couple of days with him that my fingers flutter down to the apex of my thighs. I could probably come from just remembering the look on his face when he helped me ride his leg. But then I think about Ryder sitting in the living room down the hall, and I can’t do it. What if he hears me?

Maybe he’d barge in and help me finish?

The thought is ridiculous, but it’s enough. Lifting one foot, I balance it on the edge of the tub and drag my fingers through my slick folds. Have I ever been this horny? I hiss when my fingers slide over my clit before I press them to my pussy and begin to fuck myself.

I think about Ryder as the pads of my fingers graze along my inner walls. What would he feel like inside of me? Fingers coated in my arousal, I draw them back out and circle my sensitivebud of nerves. My stomach clenches, and the first hints of that euphoric tightening start in my core. This won’t take long at all.

In my mind, it’s not me circling my clit with ever-faster movements. It’s Ryder’s tongue. I picture him kneeling before me, his fingers digging into my ass as he draws me closer, his face buried between my thighs. My touches become more urgent as I imagine how he’d eat me. He’d be ravenous. Desperate for the taste of me. Feral in the way his tongue would plunge between my folds as he fucked me with his mouth.

A quiet whimper escapes my lips as the muscles in my body tighten and warmth floods my core. I have to press a hand against the shower wall to steady myself as my legs tremble. My fingers move, as if of their own accord. They circle my swollen clit, then plunge as deep into my pussy as I can manage. But it’s not enough. God, what I wouldn’t give to have Ryder’s fingers pushing inside me right now. Or better yet, his dick.

I groan.What is wrong with me?Ryder is off-limits. I silently chant the words as my fingers circle my clit faster and faster. I’m so close to coming. My skin feels tight, my stomach feels hollow. I’m warm and tingly and achy.

Ryder’s off-limits.

Ryder’s off-limits.

My fantasy switches from Ryder’s face between my thighs to his powerful hips. With my eyes closed to block out reality, I picture him pushing into me. That perfect, round ass of his flexing with every thrust. His muscular thighs barely straining to hold me up against the shower wall as he pounds into my core. I’ve woken with his dick pressed against my ass for the last two mornings, so I have a pretty good idea of how big it is. And it feels big. I bet he’d stretch me so good. Make me feel so full.

My whole body tightens as I whimper. I’m so close. I press my shoulder against the cool tile wall to free up my other hand. Desperate for release, I twist and pinch my peaked nipples asI rub my clit. My fingers are slippery with my arousal, and my body nearly crackles with electricity. I replay Ryder’s dirty words from when we were dry humping like teenagers outside.

That’s it, baby. Ride my leg. Make yourself feel good.

---