Page 124 of The Christmas You Crash

My dad sputters and coughs, but Ryder ignores him. His mesmerizing eyes are fixed on me. “Do you have anything else you need to say, baby?” I shake my head. “Okay. She has nothing to say to you. Don’t fucking call her again, got it?”

And before he can utter another word, Ryder hangs up on my dad. The call ends, and with it, my relationship with my father. Twenty-three years of reaching for his love. Twenty-three years of striving for his acceptance. Done. Just like that. With the touch of a button and the silencing of a call.

“Fuck, baby.” Ryder drops the phone and wraps both arms around me, pulling me tight against his chest as the tears fall and the sobs finally break free. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I’m so sorry.”

I’m breaking because of the things my dad said. All the callous remarks and the awful assumptions. I’m breaking because it’s clear he never loved me. My heart hurts because he couldn’t even bring himself to apologize for making me feel unwanted. But the thing that pops out of my mouth is, “What am I going to do? I can’t afford to pay for school and rent with my shitty part-time job. Fuck, Ryder, what am I going to do?”

“You’re going to move in with me,” he says. The words are so calm, so sure. Like it’s the most obvious answer in the world.

“I can’t do that.” I press my face into his chest. “You don’t have to do that. This is my problem, Ryder. I wasn’t trying to guilt you into anything.”

“Oscar.” He releases me. His hands go to my face, applying gentle pressure to get me to look up at him. “Look at me, OTG.”

My vision is blurry from crying, but reluctantly, I obey.

“Move in with me. I’m not asking because you’ve guilt tripped me into it. I’m not asking because I feel obligated. I’m asking because I fucking love you and I want to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up with you pressed against my chest every morning. I’m asking because I hate being away from you. Move in with me. Because you’ve become my family. My home. So, please let me provide you with one.”

This can’t be real.Hecan’t be real. Real life doesn’t have knights in shining hockey skates. It doesn’t have happy endings.

“Please, baby. Move in with me?”

Maybe this isn’t real. Maybe this is all some crazy, elaborate dream. The thing is? I’m not sure I care either way. Because Ryder Hanson is my home too.

“Are you sure?”

“More sure than I’ve ever been about anything.” He runs his thumb along my jaw.

“Then, yes. Yes, I’ll move in with you.”

“Seriously?”

I grin, despite the tears still streaming down my face. They’re happy tears, now. “Seriously.”

Ryder lets out a resoundingwhoop, then rolls so I’m pinned beneath him on the bed. He kisses me senseless as his fingers fumble to remove our clothes. We’re both panting and desperate, and as soon as we’re naked, he pushes inside of me. I cry out, needing to feel him in every part of me. I need him to ground me. I’m worried all of this is a dream, and at anymoment, it might dissipate and drift away. Ryder pulls out and pushes into me again.

“This is real, baby,” he murmurs in my ear. I must have said that out loud. “This is real. I love you so much.” His hips snap against mine. “You’re my home, Lexi. Let me be yours.”

Home.

The word takes on new meaning. It finally feels right. Just like Ryder does as I welcome him into my body.

Home.

fifty-five

LEXI

“You okay, Lexi?”Mira flops down next to me on Maddox’s couch. She hands me a wineglass, which I accept gratefully. Isla takes a seat on my other side. The guys are gathered around the kitchen island, talking, drinking beers, and trying not to stress over the future of their team. Ryder looks over at me every few seconds. Always checking to make sure I’m okay. Just like my new friends.

They’re all concerned about me and Ryder. But mostly me. It’s surreal to have so many people that care after years of it just being me and my mom, then me, Rachel, and Adam.

“I’m okay,” I tell Mira. And I mostly mean it. I’m still stressed as hell and worried about what the fans will say if my dad loses his job today, but Ryder and I are going to look at some apartments next week, and he’s been amazing. So, yeah, I’m okay. Or I will be.

“Whatever happens, we all have your back,” Isla reassures me. “The guys already have a plan for a press conference if needed. They won’t let anyone blame you if your dad gets fired.”

“I hope he does,” Mira mutters. “That bastard deserves to lose his job.”

A grin curls the corners of my lips. Yeah. I’ll be okay.

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