Page 119 of The Christmas You Crash

“Ryder, what do you have to say to Coach Cross regarding today’s altercation?”

I look the reporter dead in the eyes. This one, I have no problem answering. “I’d like to tell him I feel sorry for him. Hockey is the best sport, we all know that.” Everyone chuckles. “But like every sport, it can be a fickle lover. We get injured or that perfect lineup doesn’t gel the way we’d hoped. When everything’s great, sure, hockey may keep you warm at night. But hockey won’t hold you when you cry or sit with you in the quiet moments. It can’t reassure you that everything’s going to be okay or tell you to stop being an idiot when you mess up. It can’t grow old with you. It won’t look up at you like you’ve hung the moon.”

The room is silent.

“I’ve found the person who does all of those things for me, and I never want to let her go. And it’s crazy to me he’d dismiss and hurt that same person I feel lucky just toknow. And beinglovedby that person? Well, to be honest, no game—even hockey—could ever come close. I’m sorry he never had the sense to realize that.”

There’s a single beat of profound silence, and then the cameras are flashing again and reporters are shouting.

I’m tired. All I want is to get back to Lexi and wrap her in my arms. I’m never letting her go.

Coach Fry holds up his hands and says, “That’s enough questions about Ryder and his love life. Now, do any of you have anything to ask about the spectacular game these guys played tonight? If not, I know we’re all tired and want to get home to our families.”

For once, the mention of going home to our families doesn’t cut. Because my family is waiting for me.

She makes all of this worth it.

fifty-three

LEXI

My mom callsme while I’m sitting with the girls in the family room.

“Hey, Mom.”

“Oh, honey. I saw what happened. Are you okay?” She sounds sad and furious.

Not really.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Your father is an ass. I can’t believe he said any of that. I swear, I’m going to use my alimony to take a hit out on that man.” She’s silent for a beat. “I should have divorced him sooner. I should have protected you from his bullshit better. I’m so sorry, honey.”

“Mom.” I love her for everything she’s saying, but my dad’s behavior isn’t her fault. And she did protect me from his negligence as best she could. She always showed up for me. She always cheered me on. Even if they’d divorced when I was a kid, I still would have searched the crowd for him and been disappointed when he didn’t show. “This isn’t on you. You’re agreat mom and you always have been. I’m sorry for the times I put his absences on you or took my anger out on you.”

“It’s okay. I always understood.” She pauses, and I hear Jeff say something I can’t make out. My mom hums. “Are you watching the press conference right now?”

“No,” I admit. “I’m in the family room with my friends. Why?”

“Jeff tells me that boy of yours is doing a good job. He’s defending you without giving away any personal information.” The hum of the television grows louder in the background.

It’s strange to hear Ryder’s voice coming through. I can’t make out the words, and I’m tempted to ask what he’s saying, but I’ll wait for him to tell me. I’m emotionally drained, and all I want to do is get off the phone.

“I think I was wrong about that boy. I can tell he really loves you, Alexis. I’m glad you have each other, and I’m looking forward to getting to know him better.”

She can’t know how much I needed to hear those words. I want her to grow to love Ryder. He doesn’t have a mom and hasn’t for a long time. Although mine will never replace the woman Ryder lost at such a young age, it would kill me if she always held herself at arm’s length.

“Yeah, Mom. I think you were.”

“Well, I’m glad for it. Will you two come for dinner soon? Maybe the next weekend Ryder doesn’t have a game? I know you’re with your friends and probably don’t want to talk about things with your father right now. We can talk at dinner?” She sounds so hopeful, my heart does a little squeeze.

“I’m sure we can do that.”

“Good. Are you sure you’re all right? You can talk to me. Cry, scream, call your dad a miserable bastard. I’m always here for you.”

“I know, Mom. I’m just… I think I’m still in shock, you know? Right now, I just need to shut my brain down and be with Ryder.”

“I don’t blame you. I’ll let you go, but call me as soon as you’re up for it, okay, sweetie?”

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